A lot of people say that dating is a numbers game. If you just keep pushing through terrible first dates, you'll eventually find someone that you magically click with. But if you’ve already suffered through dozens of awkward dinners with strangers this year, it’s important that you don’t let dating fatigue start to cloud your judgment.

Redditors have recently been discussing the most glaring red flags that they somehow managed to ignore in relationships, so we’ve gathered some of their warnings for others below. This may not be the most fun list to read, but it’s full of helpful reminders for anyone who’s currently trying to navigate the dating pool. And keep reading to find a conversation with the person who started this thread!

#1

Mummy’s boys.

Never dated someone that was very very attached to their mother before and I never will again.

- It feels like there is always three of you in the relationship
- Your opinion is asked but so is mummy’s and what was the point of asking me because mummy’s answer always goes.
- The general lack of life skills, experience and independence because your mummy is still coddling you at 27.

Image credits: satanchaps

#2

He told me he had a special talent for manipulating people to get them to do what he wants for him.

Went about just as tumultuous as one would expect until lo and behold it’s revealed he’s a sociopath! Who knew! 😅.

Image credits: valyrian_night_27

#3

When I was younger, my GF (very short relationship, a few months) kept spending the night at her friend's house, who was married with kids. She broke up with me to steal the friend's husband, who she later married, then surprise surprise, divorced. I've been married once, coming up to 20 years. Karma.

Image credits: HandleNo2458

To find out how this conversation started in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user Ravi_dxb, who posed the question, "What’s the biggest red flag you ignored in a relationship, and how did it turn out?” He was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and explain where his inspiration for this post came from.

"I’ve always been curious about why people ignore red flags in relationships, even when they kind of know better," the author shared. "We’ve all been there at some point, and I figured it would be interesting to see what others had to say. Plus, Reddit is full of real, unfiltered stories, so I knew the responses would be eye-opening."

#4

She refused to apologize for anything wrong she did, and her response would be, "Just get over it.".

Image credits: whyaremypantssoshort

#5

Being left in the middle of discussion or being neglected while crying or hurt. he can sleep peacefully while I'm crying. I ignored that s**t for how many times. And it turned out that I lost myself, and I'm drained. now we broke up, feels nothing. because I'm already tired and just want to regain myself.

Image credits: thirsty_hungry000

#6

When she snooped through my phone to find nothing and told me I was boring. It was her way of saying that she has a lot to hide.

Image credits: SubpoenaSender

The author also admits that he's guilty of ignoring red flags that he shouldn't have in relationships. "I’ve definitely overlooked some warning signs, usually by making excuses like, 'Maybe they’ll change' or 'It’s not that bad,'" Ravi_dxb shared. "Spoiler alert: it was that bad. Ignoring red flags always led to situations where I wished I had walked away sooner."

#7

"I dont deserve you."
"You're too good for me."
He was right, he was telling the truth.

Image credits: sodawatrdeathmachine

#8

She treated people in public like s**t, talked about everyone behind their back, came home everyday talking about co workers, her family was always “fighting” with her. Yeah she was the piece of s**t not everyone else.

She practically begged me and cried for almost 3 years to take her back. Never once contemplated it.

Image credits: 88bauss

#9

She was insecure about everything.

Badly.

Image credits: Difficult_Gazelle_91

So why do so many people overlook these bad signs? "Hope, fear, and emotional investment," the author told Bored Panda. "When you really like someone, you don’t want to see the bad stuff. Sometimes, it’s easier to believe things will get better than to accept that they won’t. And let’s be honest—society kind of pushes this idea that love is about sticking through the hard times. But some 'hard times' are actually just signs to leave."

#10

Lack of emotions and thought they could do no wrong.
Very very bad.

Image credits: gloomy_d0t

#11

Apologies were always “sorry you feel that way”.

Image credits: infjnyc

#12

She gave me an ultimatum early on in the relationship saying that if I didn't change how she wanted me to she'd leave me. I was in my early 20s with very little relationship experience and absolutely infatuated with her. She went on to step on me for most of the relationship and, upon reflection, gradually wore me down over a few years. I became a version of myself that she wanted me to be.

Eventually her Mom also became toxic towards me and that was where I drew the line. I was dealing with some terrible news about a family member (diagnosed with terminal cancer) and was told my emotions didn't matter and I should deal with them myself. I asked for a break from her and she ghosted me.

Been 5+ years. Very happily single, thriving in my career, and just got into my dream grad program. Don't know if I'm meant to find love in this existence but feel happy for what I have in my life. That relationship did a lot of damage to my psyche and I'm starting to finally feel like myself again which is nice. Can finally say I love myself again.

Image credits: Fit-Supermarket-9656

Finally, we asked Ravi_dxb what he thought of the responses to his post. "The replies were wild," he shared. "Some were funny, some were heartbreaking, and a few were just insane. What really surprised me was how many people had almost identical experiences. It made me realize that ignoring red flags is way more common than I thought."

#13

Said she was SA’d by previous partners. One night we did the deed but she regretted it so she put me on blast on social media saying I did that to her.

Pattern recognition yall.

Image credits: Open-Efficiency-1088

#14

He joked that id do well if i lasted even a month with him. took it as a joke at the time. should have taken this warning seriously and quit back then and there.

Image credits: PhysicsProfessional8

#15

She asked if we could open the relationship so she could f**k girls and I laughed thinking she wasn't serious.


At least she had the decency to dump me first. Still wanted 2 years with her.

Image credits: SchleftySchloe

#16

He ignored a lack of consent. Then dumped me few months later because I didn't trust him enough to sleep with him. I should've broken up with him much earlier. Or reacted in any other way than trying to forgive and forget. I guess I cared too much.

Image credits: VVolfshade

#17

After 6 months of dating she started talking about marriage. I asked, “What’s the rush?”

She looked at me with total sincerity and said, “I don’t know how much longer I can hold back the crazy!”

We have been married for 25 years.

Image credits: DerekPaxton

#18

She had been engaged three times and married once for 8 months. All before age 24. Ended poorly - we weren’t having s*x, wanted to wait, and she got pregnant by a “friend”. Tried to entice me into s*x but I held strong because she was the one that wanted to wait, then she came clean. Really dodged a bullet on that one. I think she’s remarried and divorced multiple times over since then. So glad that I wasn’t in that lineup.

Image credits: SouthernMurse

#19

She was so hard to get a hold of. Honestly, the easiest way was talking to her on Myspace. But when we were together we had a good time. She seemed to really like me and enjoy my company.

Fast forward to trying to message her one day. Her status on Myspace all of a sudden said "married" and she had a bunch of pictures up from her wedding that past weekend. Became so clear I could not believe I didn't put it together earlier. She was engaged.

Turns out she was hooking up with me on the side while engaged. I wrote her "So, married huh?" her response? "Sigh, I knew this was coming".

As far as I know now she is like single with 5 kids, so might have lucked out.

Image credits: shartnado3

#20

She told me during our second hookup that her ex was 'still obsessed with her' and 'probably stalking her.'

I ignored it. Why? Because the head was so good I thought I could *dodge karma* with nut immunity.

Fast forward:
Dude *did* stalk her. Slashed my tires.
She cried and said, ‘I can’t believe he found us.’
We were in *my apartment.*

Anyway, I still stayed for 3 more months because the post-nut cuddles made me forget I was basically in a live-action Netflix docuseries.

Image credits: SnooCakes9395

#21

Mega narcissist. Always had an excuse gor anything ever messed up she did.

Image credits: JerseyStarfield

#22

We haven’t had good communication so we broke up after 2 years and it was that much more heartbreaking.

Image credits: Naive_Sis1

#23

She “accidentally” k*lled her family dog.

Supposedly, she was pulling up in the driveway, and noticed the dog laying down in the driveway. The dog was old, and had mobility issues. She expected the dog would move out of the way, before her car came to a stop. Unfortunately the dog didn’t move, and the dog died. Why she didn’t stop the car a couple of feet away from the dog, I have no idea.

She told this to me completely out of the blue, and didn’t have any emotion whatsoever when telling me this.

Image credits: morepedalsthandoors

#24

She wouldn’t do even small favors or help others before they had helped her.

Image credits: telmunen

#25

> Me: Honey, what time is it?


> Her: Why — are we late?


No, honey, I just need to know the time. She couldn’t even process a thought without first assuming she was to blame for something. Turns out her a*****e, alcoholic mother had deeply traumatised her as a child, and she was determined not to seek help. Imagine having a regular talk about finances with her…


To answer your second question: after four years we broke up, and I learned that she was staying with her mother but recently got kicked out by said mother.


Poor woman.

#26

Told me she had cheated on previous partners. Then proceeded to cheat on me.


Now that a I think about it, I should've broken up with her waaay earlier than I did.

#27

The fact that he admitted he didn't miss ANY of his family. Not even his younger brother and sister. There was a weird detachment between him and everyone else and even everything. He didn't miss ANYTHING he'd abandoned at his mum's house....turns out he abandoned his son with just as much ease....

#28

Her m**h use.

#29

He would “push” me to work out at first when I had said I wanted to lose weight (which was helpful bc I was struggling with my depression) but then it turned to a guilt trip on days where I didn’t want to go to the gym. Or make me go do cardio on my rest days. And he would get upset if I didn’t go and tell me I had disappointed him. Then he was watching my food and commenting on what I was eating. Making me feel bad if I ate too many calories because I wanted to lose weight and I didn’t care about my goals etc. got to the point where I didn’t want to eat in front of him or I would lie about what I was eating or start binging when he wasn’t around. He’s now my ex (thank GOD) and I can see so many more controlling tendencies he had in other aspects. Oh and a weird little eating disorder lol.

Image credits: Competitive-Cod1070

#30

The way I felt about his actions towards me were always the problem, not how he behaved.

It's happening again too, but it's extra hard because sometimes he takes accountability. Most times though it's still how I didn't understand his actual meaning and how I reacted too much. Meanwhile he storms off when I ask a gentle question about what he means. Or he interrupts me constantly but I'm misunderstanding him. Yet I also have to tell him that he's interrupting and it's my responsibility to remind him not to. Round and around.

Image credits: segflt

#31

She from the beginning was overly friendly and flirty with other guys. Our relationship ended when she finalized plans to move in with a “friend” and another couple. She swore the friend was like a brother. She got pregnant about a year later and they’re now married.

Image credits: MangoFuzzy1695

#32

Love-bombing from the start, and that his ex was crazy.
The love bombing was to keep me in love and then... cold as ice. Me begging. Let's just say that from this moment on, I ended up with a c*****d tailbone.
I remember when he said I was the love of his life and wanted to marry me. I got goosebumps. I dumped him because he clicked in my head, and after that, he came back to propose. No ring. He didn't want to marry me, or live with me, or move to my city. He didn't want me to move in with him either. D**n, he didnt even had a ring or a flower from the street. So I just laughed my a*s off and closed the door on him.

5 months later i met my husband :)♥.

Image credits: NeumocortPlus

#33

Them being pathological liars. Tried to call bluffs a few times a first and they essentially won control (controlling being something additional) and then I could really only in the back of my head, call bull s**t. Lasted two years when new friends help me notice lying about his career and lying about having cancer.
Still a big f**k you to him. F**k you.

#34

Lying about anything even small stuff. drinking daily. watching/listening to hours of politics a day from a single platform. absent from kid's lives. more "friends" of the opposite s*x than the same s*x.

#35

Being quick to anger, or anger being the first emotion he reacts with to everything . At first I thought I could just be agreeable to avoid making him mad. But the goalpost would continuously get moved, to the point that most anything I did made him mad, and I was existing in constant fear of setting him off. I left when I started to look forward to his absence more than his presence.

#36

He asked to borrow money to buy dog food the same day he got paid because he was already out of money. He didn't have any bills other than utilities and brought home about $1,000 a week. He admitted he'd taken out lots of payday loans to buy shirts.

It ended with us (him) in a lot of debt, a 2nd mortgage 6 months after buying our house, more debt, lies about debt, and finally divorce.

Image credits: soonergirrl

#37

He was lying and manipulating from the start, I forgave it. Turned out he never stopped lying and manipulating and a year later full of "I love you"'s, etc, he leaves me cause he got bored of me. Guess I'm pretty worthless if someone can love me, yet throw me away so easily.

#38

Drinking. We were young i thought he would grow out of it but he didn't. Divorced after 10 yrs and 3 kids. 20 yrs later he is some how still alive and still drinking, has gone to rehab at least 15 times owes me well over 100k in child support.

#39

They constantly badmouthed all their exes… turns out, I became “one of the crazy ones” too after we broke up.

#40

Girl said she had a previous history of anorexia and I just thought that was an eating disorder...I did not realize it was one of the deadliest mental health disorders.

#41

He started punching walls.

#42

That he comes and goes as he pleases. he broke up with me a year ago when I was dealing with too many changes and failures in my life and it broke me, I literally begged him to stay but selfishly he left with no closure or explanation. i tried moving on and did in the last two months. but guess what he came back crying as I was starting to be happy and productive again. and ik ik what you all will say, but I took him back and we are dating again. I will bid my time and if the actions repeat I'll definitely leave him.

#43

His frequent habit to yell at me to GTFO of his place when he lost what little patience he had. Very often in fact. I also didn’t kick him out when he would do this at my apartment. I let him kick me out of my own room, in my own apartment. I did not deserve to be yelled at and spoken to so disrespectfully.

#44

1)He was shy and insecure, I am extroverted and very confident. The boy didn't calm down until he ruined my self-esteem

2) poorly resolved with the ex, in the end I was just a distraction after his breakup.

#45

Always the type of person to call other people out for doing things wrong, but always had an excuse when being called out for doing something wrong/inconsiderate.

Edit: this + me having the EQ not to bring up every little thing was not a good combo.

#46

Welp, I ignored the "ignoring me", and the complete drop off in any interest in s*x with me...turns out she cheated at least twice, second time was a long term affair.

#47

One red flag I ignored in a past relationship was when they constantly dismissed my feelings, brushing off concerns as "overreacting." I thought it was just a misunderstanding, but it ended up leading to a lack of communication and emotional distance. In the end, it didn’t work out, and I learned the importance of mutual respect and healthy communication.

#48

My girlfriend of six months knew I had a vasectomy. However, I found birth control pills in her bathroom , and she explained to me that she wasn't sure what direction we were going. I said ok , but found out she was seeing someone else....should have dropped her then.

#49

He dated 5 of his cousins knowingly, (I didn't want to date him and wasn't allowed to break up with him)
He was 17 and cheated on me with his 14 year old cousin. He also gave my gay bsf a h*****b while we were together.

Image credits: JizzEater_69

#50

Moving every few months.

New boyfriend before old one goes.

Never argued, just turns out they never discussed or handled emotional conversations.

#51

"I am a very modest person."

It turned out she was the exact opposite.

#52

She had some really bad insecurities that she said she'd talk to me about to help her resolve as well as mine(never happened). Lack of communication was a huge one, expecting me to tell her everything but lacking on her part and she expected me to know what she was thinking.

The biggest one that really got my alarm bells ringing but I ended up ignoring thinking we could figure it out was that she told me something and I apologized and told her that this was my first committed relationship in a out 3 years so I was still learning and getting used to everything and she hit me with "We've been talking 6 months, dating 2 months you can't use that excuse on me." And I was like, ummm... Yes the f**k I can. Every woman is different and once a man gets used to one it's a whole relearning process especially after being single for so long.

The last nail in the coffin was when her grandma passed away (pun intended. Rest in peace though) and she got mad at me for not calling her and talking to her every day of the week after her gma passed. Well, I texted her and told her saying "Hey babe, I know you don't like me calling when you are with your family because of the drama and hardtimes they'd give you but I just wanted to at least text you and say I'm sorry for you loss and if you need anything please let me know. I'll see you in about a week." She replied very well and did appreciate my reaching out. Well, I guess i was supposed to call her even though she didn't want me to and because once she got back in town she got mad at me for not calling. She was a very uncommunicative and confusing woman that I am glad I am no longer with.

#53

She openly told me she cheated on her last three boyfriends. I thought, oh she's so honest and this definitely won't happen to me. It happened to me.

#54

Her absolutely overbearing stalker like father. Monitoring her every move and what she/we were doing at all times. First night I stayed over at her apartment he was there the next morning waiting outside, he told me never to come back, and he had a gun with him.

She was 28 and I was 29. Literally grown adults.

I let that one go right then and there.

#55

Him not having hobbies or friends. bad.

#56

Casually admitting to me that she was a diagnosed sociopath.

#57

Lack of initiative - I was always the one to initiate dates, intimacy and just anything related to the relationship. I held on for 5 years … don’t do it.

#58

Him shutting down and refusing to talk issues out…we broke up.

#59

She broke up with her boyfriend because she wanted to go out with me.

The pattern continued.

#60

She lived an ocean away from me. I ignored that red flag and fell in love. It didn't work out, and now there is someone thousands of miles away from me that I will always love and care deeply for, but will never see or run into ever again. Hurts a bit.

#61

All of his friends and even family members warned me about him. Ended up in a physically a*****e relationship.

#62

It's a long story but she was bad at lying, couldn't keep her stories straight.

In the end she punched me in the side of my head with her keys, so that was fun.

#63

She bought a ticket to Japan and left all her stuff here. I ended up married to a different person, found an amazing career and have an awesome kid. :)

Didn't necessarily ignore, but she said she'd be back... oh well.

#64

He's just a friend lol classic, we all know how it goes.

#65

The "emotional support ex boyfriend".

#66

She wanted a free ride at my expense. I should have never gotten involved with her
I'm just finishing paying off any obligation I have to her.
Oh sweet sweet sounds of freedom from that ball and chain.

#67

Sounds rude but.... S****y kids. Says a lot about the parent.

#68

Hot & cold. Such women are mostly manipulative.

#69

He would hit me as a 'joke', then he went on to a*****t me.