It’s only natural that the bond between best friends grows stronger the more time they spend together. With that sometimes come deeper feelings that can blur the line between friendship and affection. Catching oneself having romantic thoughts about a buddy can feel confusing, and figuring out what to do with the newfound fondness can be even more baffling.
Overwhelmed with feelings for his best friend, this guy saw no other option but to propose. The girl was completely caught off guard when he pulled out the ring and burst out laughing, thinking it was a prank, only to realize that he was totally serious about the marriage offer.
Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with Krystal Mazzola Wood, M.Ed., LMFT, who kindly agreed to tell us more about how friendship can turn into love.
The more time friends spend together, the stronger the bond between them becomes
Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, this guy mistook long-year friendship for romance, decided to propose and got embarrassingly rejected
Image credits: shotprime (not the actual photo)
Image credits: voronaman111 (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ThrowRAproposingalmost
70% of romantic relationships begin with friendship
Researchers have estimated that almost 70% of romantic relationships begin with friendship, which Krystal Mazzola Wood, M.Ed., LMFT, says is a powerful foundation to build romance on.
“In fact, over 40 years of research by the Gottman Institute proves the happiest couples have a deep friendship between them. First meeting someone as a friend can then lend itself to a strong, happy, and lasting relationship,” she says.
Mazzola Wood explains that friendship can turn into deeper affection when individuals share mutual values, plans for the future and, of course, attraction. “If both people want the same things in their romantic future, i.e., to raise children or to break generational cycles while also being physically and emotionally attracted to one another, this transforms friendship into love.”
A sign indicating that one may be developing feelings for a friend is a new sense of ‘butterflies,’ says Mazzola Wood. “Maybe they suddenly feel nervous or excited in a new way to spend time with their friend. This is a good sign romantic feelings are being developed. Also, having new visions for your future that involve you and your friend partnering is a good sign you want more with them.
Image credits: Ave Calvar (not the actual photo)
“If they are single, let them know directly that your feelings for them have evolved to romantic ones”
Getting such feelings out in the open can not only result in disappointment but a change in relationship, notes Mazzola Wood. Therefore, she advises taking some time before expressing them and assessing if their romantic feelings are truly authentic.
“For instance, if a person suddenly feels romantic towards their friend but is going through a breakup, this may be a product of loneliness instead of authentic desire. Take a few months to sit with your feelings, journal, and perhaps meditate on these feelings and your vision for the future,” she suggests.
Once a person is sure their affection is genuine, it’s important to discuss it with the friend, even though it might require a lot of courage, says Mazzola Wood. However, this only applies if they’re single, she adds. “If they are in a relationship, perhaps it may be useful to seek the support of a therapist, as desiring someone unavailable may be a sign of non-secure attachment issues. Otherwise, if they are single, let them know directly that your feelings for them have evolved to romantic ones,” she advises.
Sadly, there’s also the chance that the other person isn’t feeling the same way. “Communicate your desire for a romantic relationship while also sharing that you respect if their feelings aren’t mutual. They may need time to process your feelings – let them have this. If their feelings aren’t mutual, this will be painful, but it’s better to know than to live potentially years with a sense of unrequited love, which prevents true friendship,” says Mazzola Wood.
“You may need time to process this disappointment before resuming your friendship – that’s ok. Take some time and space if you need because it is possible to have a strong friendship if you process your grief while realizing there is actually a better match for you then.”
However, she believes that the thought of rejection shouldn’t stop a person from confessing their love. “While you risk disappointment, there’s also the potential your friend will feel the same way, which can lead to a profoundly loving, peaceful and strong relationship. It is worth the risk to experience this potential!”
Image credits: Molly the Cat (not the actual photo)
The author provided more information in the comments
As readers reacted, the original poster replied to some of them
Readers further suggested that the guy’s behavior may be delusional
English (US) ·