There’s probably nothing worse than a spouse breaking your trust. In a recent YouGov poll, Americans deemed trust the most important factor of all for a succesfull romantic relationship. Yet some still decide to break it, putting their partners into an impossible situation.
For this couple, it all started with the wife’s work trip. After she returned from it weirdly distant and with a hickey on her neck, the husband started suspecting infidelity. And soon, his suspicions got confirmed, resulting in a heartbreaking confrontation. Not being able to think straight, he decided to look for advice online.
To know more about what drives people to cheat on their spouses, Bored Panda reached out to relationship dynamics and business strategist Mairéad Molloy Doyle. She explained the psychology of cheaters and why emotional cheating is just as real as physical cheating. Read her expert comments below!
More info: Mairéad Molloy Doyle | LinkedIn
A wife came back from a work retreat with a hickey, but her husband refused to believe it was just a bug bite
Image credits: Good Faces (not the actual photo)
He suspected she was unfaithful to him with a work colleague, but she vehemently denied it
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Image source: ThrowRASunflowerBuff
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
After a few days of the husband giving his wife the cold shoulder, she finally caved
Image credits: A. C. (not the actual photo)
Image source: ThrowRASunflowerBuff
Image credits: Brooke Cagle (not the actual photo)
Two weeks later, the husband updated people about what he’s going to do next
Image credits: Zeyad Taha (not the actual photo)
Image source: ThrowRASunflowerBuff
Relationship strategist Mairéad Molloy Doyle tells Bored Panda that cheaters often regret getting caught, not the cheating itself
We might think it only happens in movies, but a corporate professional cheating on their spouse with a subordinate is more than a cliché. One study found that people in power positions are more likely to cheat because power increases their confidence to attract partners.
Cheaters may come up with many excuses for their infidelity. As relationship strategist Mairéad Molloy Doyle explains to Bored Panda, people who cheat often believe their situation is different from other cheaters’. “They might tell themselves it was just a mistake, something that did not really mean anything. Maybe they felt lonely, bored, or just took the chance when it came up.”
Others might enjoy the power that comes from being unfaithful. “Cheating often creates an unfair situation—one person has a secret, the other does not. The cheater might feel like they have control,” Molloy Doyle says.
In the end, there is no one reason why people cheat on their partners. “Sometimes, it is just about opportunity—a night out, a work trip, too much to drink,” the relationship strategist says. “Other times, it is about emotions—feeling unloved, bored, or stuck in a routine. Some people cheat because they want excitement. Others cheat because they simply think they can get away with it.”
In cases where the cheater regrets it as soon as they’re caught, similar to this situation, the regret might not be about the cheating itself. Molloy Doyle tells Bored Panda that it’s more likely a fear of consequences.
“Suddenly, they are faced with the risk of losing their partner, their family, their home. The thrill disappears, and they realise too late that they have thrown something important away,” she explains.
“At the end of the day, cheating is never simple. It is a mix of emotions, choices, and circumstances. But no matter what the reason, the damage it causes is real.”
Emotional cheating is just as real and hurtful as physical infidelity
Infidelity can ruin a marriage, but some couples choose to stay together despite the betrayal. According to Divorce, about 60-75% of couples decide to work it out. Whether that’s for children, financial implications, or other reasons, it’s ultimately up to the couple.
To some folks, it matters what actually happened. What kind of physical contact there was, who initiated it, if there are any feelings. That might play part in whether or not a spouse decides to reconcile with a partner who cheated.
Some commenters pointed out how the wife might have been cheating on the husband emotionally long before the Vegas work trip. They accused her of not setting proper boundaries with the subordinate from the get-go.
And it’s possible she’d done so on purpose. Emotional cheaters know that what they’re doing is wrong if they feel guilty about it and hide it or don’t want their partners to find out. “Emotional cheating is just as real as physical cheating,” Molloy Doyle tells Bored Panda.
“It starts with curiosity, then turns into messages, then maybe more. Even if you never act on it, the fact that you are searching for something outside your relationship says a lot. In the end, cheating is not just about what you do—it is about the trust you break.”
People in the comments vilified the wife, suspecting she didn’t tell the whole truth
English (US) ·