Seeing your significant other talk to a stranger at a bar can be displeasing. Although the conversation may seem innocent, it can still cause issues within the relationship.
Reddit user Many_Major2827 had to deal with this situation when he visited a local tavern with his wife. But in his story, his wife completely disregarded him while chatting up a man she had met that night.
The original poster (OP) then did the same thing and began talking to women. It didn’t sit well with his wife, and now he’s asking the AITAH subreddit if he was in the wrong.
It can be jarring to see your partner talking to a stranger, even if it appears to be a harmless interaction
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
A man spotted his wife chatting with a man one night when they were out at a bar together, so he decided to return the favor and talk to two women
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
His actions earned him dirty looks from his wife and a long-standing cold treatment
Image credits: Many_Major2827
A partner drawing attention from strangers isn’t always a bad thing
According to experts, there is an upside to having your partner draw attention from others, just like the OP’s wife in the story.
“If it’s mild, fun flirting, I would leave it alone and even use it as a nice indicator that your partner is appealing to other people besides you,” psychotherapist Aimee Hartstein told Brides. “When we see others desire our partner, it often makes them a bit more attractive.”
For Hartstein, such interactions like what the OP’s wife had are more likely harmless.
“The fact that it’s in front of you should suggest that there’s not necessarily suspect motives involved with the activity.”
Open communication is still the best course of action when dealing with a partner being flirted with
Some people may feel apprehensive about speaking up when such scenarios arise. However, according to University of Massachusetts Amherst professor Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, openness is still the best approach.
“When your partner is the ‘victim’ of flirtation, it might be best to acknowledge your feelings of irritation or jealousy rather than try to suppress them,” Dr. Whitbourne wrote in an article for Psychology Today.
But at the end of the day, it’s all about keeping your emotions in check.
“As tempting as it may be to blame your partner, this might not be the most productive strategy. Innocent flirtations can remain just that as long as you don’t allow your own anger to fan the flames of your partner’s, and your, annoyance.”
The OP seemed to have spoken to his wife in a level-headed manner. But unfortunately for him, it did nothing to fix the problem.
Most commenters sided with the OP
One of them even shared a personal experience
English (US) ·