No matter who you are or what you see and hear on social media, there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ parent. Let’s repeat that so everyone in the back hears it, too: There’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ parent! Absolutely everyone makes mistakes—they’re a part of the process. And there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to raising kids well.

You can tell a lot about a person by how they react to any mishaps you make or when they do something different than you. Some will be supportive or offer useful advice, while others reveal themselves to be incredibly judgmental and beyond critical. To show you what we mean, we’ve collected some of the worst stories about parents getting ‘mom shamed’ by others, as shared in an online thread. Scroll down for a crash course in how not to treat other parents.

#1

Some people- and it always seems to be older women- just love to comment/criticize. The two nastiest comments I've gotten are about how I let my daughter walk everywhere (what else would I do?) and that she shouldn't be playing in the dirt because it wasn't ladylike (ma'am she one, nothing about her is ladylike, and also she loves dirt and rocks).

Image credits: You_Go_Glen_Coco_

#2

I got shamed for ordering my almost two year old son water at a restaurant instead of milk or juice. He likes to drink water, what do you want from me?

Image credits: AdministrativeSand41

#3

I was shamed by a co worker for having my first kid soooooo young. I was 20 when I had my first,  she was f*****g 22....I've never wanted to smack someone so hard. .

Image credits: Demagolka1300

In a nutshell, mom shaming is when someone judges or criticizes a mom for her parenting style or choices. Choosing Therapy points out that even though this can sometimes come from a place of concern or a lack of knowledge about the context of the situation, it does more harm than good. The result? Insecurity. Anxiety. And self-doubt.

Some people have either very outdated or extremely unrealistic expectations of the role that moms supposedly ‘should’ have in raising their children. In some cases, the critics are extremely stubborn and believe that their approach to parenting is the one and only way to do things ‘right.’

Other times, the individual may be narcissistic or have serious self-esteem issues, so they feed their ego or feel better about their insecurities by putting other people down. It’s not far from bullying. Meanwhile, there are also those parents for whom raising children is a competition, so they constantly compare themselves to others and vice versa.

#4

Existing without my daughter. I dropped her off at preschool and then took my dogs for a walk before logging into work, my b***h neighbor gave me a snide “oh where’s the baby? Must be *so nice* to have a break!”.

Image credits: dogmom267

#5

For having my two year old son on a toddler leash (cute backpack that looks like a rocket).  He's a fast little fellow who doesn't understand not to run off or in front of cars, and I'm too pregnant to chase him.


Some guy came up to me at the grocery store and said, "You have him on a leash like a dog?!"


I just said, "Yup!" and kept walking. 


Not giving my time to such judgy jerks.

Image credits: Jade196

#6

I got mom shamed for choosing a natural birth without an epidural as well as breast feeding lol! People are wild. Give yourselves all the grace in the world ❤️.

Image credits: TryKind9985

According to Choosing Therapy, some of the main ways in which other people shame moms include criticizing their choice to stay at home and breastfeeding choices. Mom-shamers also often judge non-traditional parenting roles, other parents’ children’s development, sleep training, and kids’ activities.

Stopping mom shaming means working on yourself, your perspective, and how you interact with the world. For one, you should stop comparing moms to each other. You also ought to think about each mom’s personal strengths, offer your support instead of being judgy, and also take a look at any self-esteem issues that you might have.

#7

That I whistled at her and she immediately returned to my side. Our boxer is trained to different whistles (and word/hand commands), we have land that we can hike with him being off leash. He never ventures far off, rarely out of eye sight, but does his last zoomies as we load up 4.5yo in the vehicle. She's learned what the different whistles mean, and will also respond to them. Each of us have our own "name" whistle to call our attention before next whistle.


Apparently I've trained her like a dog if I use the freeze/stop/come here/eyes on me whistles without thinking while at the park or grocery store.


Nope. We just live out in the county and use whistles vs yelling as my voice gives out easily when my sinuses are pissed off.

Image credits: deltagirlinthehills

#8

When my son was 6 months old, my husband and I were chastised by a catholic priest in a hospital elevator. We were told “it’s ridiculous that one of you couldn’t stay home with your child. A hospital is no place for a baby.”

My son was the patient—he had been diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder the week before. We were there to get some baseline tests done.

I was so stunned I couldn’t say anything. My husband told him to mind his own business and informed him that my son was there for a heart echo. That priest stfu really quickly, but didn’t apologize.

Image credits: BreezyMoonTree

#9

I'm sorry, some people can be so rude and grumpy. 


Last week, I had a woman at the swimming pool complain that my child was too loud. During public swim at a community pool. He was just laughing! 


I'm trying not to take it to heart, but it is stuck in my head, and I'm so disappointed in people sometimes.

Image credits: PrincessPu2

You should also practice being more compassionate, think of the things you’re grateful for in life, focus on a growth-oriented mindset, and give other moms the benefit of the doubt. It often helps to reflect on what your own parenting journey was like and what challenges you faced.

Have you ever had anyone start shaming you for your parenting style, choices, or blunders, dear Pandas? How did you react to them? Where do you personally think the line between concern and criticism lies? From your perspective, what is a way to offer helpful parenting advice while also being supportive?

#10

Breastfeeding and not pumping so “no one else can feed him”.

Image credits: LunarLemonLassy

#11

I’m sorry you had to deal with that. People are just so rude!

When my son was about 15 we were at Home Goods. I picked up a comforter in one of those plastic bags. It was kinda bulky to carry but not heavy.

The 60-ish year old cashier gave me a disapproving look and said very rudely- “Mom you should be teaching him to carry these things for you”

I’m not really sure what I even said but I was so mad. Yeah he could’ve carried it but it wasn’t necessary. She doesn’t know the things he does for me around the house.. I can’t stand people sometimes.

Image credits: JDRL320

#12

I had to go to the pharmacy to get myself medicine and I had all 3 of my kids (5, 3, and 1 at that time) with me in 2021. The female tech at the counter told me I shouldn’t be bringing my little kids with me and should leave them at home. I told her I have zero childcare and it’s just me, she argued back that I could have found someone.

Image credits: WiseCaterpillar_

#13

My daughter 7 at the time who has autism and adhd she has no concept of watching where she’s going etc she accidentally ran into a lady’s trolley (shopping cart) she yelled at her and I mean she actually yelled at her. to watch where your going .. I went off at her “ she has a disability you stupid b***h” a lady walking behind me congratulated me for putting her in her place.

Image credits: Hollowheart1991

#14

Leaving an event when my toddler was tired and about to have a meltdown, but not “noticing she was tired way earlier and leaving before she got to this point”.

Image credits: crashpilliwinks

#15

I once got scolded for not spending “enough” one-on-one time with my then two-year-old. My husband and I had been home for maybe a week from the hospital with my second baby and were in survival mode.

Image credits: anon

#16

One of my kids is a T1 and we were in line once and his pump goes off letting us know he’s low. So we check his blood sugar and he treated. Then my youngest asked if he can have some candy too and because he had been behaving and hadn’t had a treat in a while I said sure and he has some too.

This older lady turns around and tells me I’m going to give my other kid the diabetes too. So my t1 (then 10) looks at her and said that’s not how type 1 diabetes works. My pancreas doesn’t make insulin that’s why I have a pump which gives me my insulin and I have to much insulin which is why I need the candy and how about you not tell me mom what to do and keep your opinion to yourself and b**t out. She then looks at me and says aren’t you going to parent your child and I said why should I when he’s right. You should b**t out.

Normally I would have made a smart a*s comment that will purposely embarrass her but he was tired and annoyed and he was quick to the punch.

Image credits: GiveMeAlienRomances

#17

I was once mom shamed for getting a bottle of wine at the grocery store. The woman was older and went on a tangent about how irresponsible it was for me to drink. She even said "if you drink and fall asleep he could k**l himself"

Some people have experienced some terrible things and seen some things and they project. It was just a crazy experience. I left the store and was like I should have gotten a second bottle 🤣 just kidding.

Image credits: nugsnsnugs

#18

I didn’t attempt to induce lactation so I could breastfeed my adopted baby.

Image credits: bawkbawkslove

#19

For not giving my 6 week old rice cereal & picking my daughter up while pregnant.

Image credits: Ok_Marsupial_470

#20

Not having my son in socks, multiple times, because *isn't he going to get cold?*

It was the height of summer and 100°F outside.

Image credits: UnamusedKat

#21

Just recently, I took my son out to Kemah, he just turned 4. He is taller than average, so maybeeee there was some confusion... BUT- he has just started amping up on potty training. It was just me and him there, lots of people. I took him into the woman's restroom nearby because there was no family section close, and he needed to go immediately. Once we came out of the stall, this mom who was helping her daughter wash her hands next to us (doing the same) was giving me a dirty look... she just kept looking at me, then my son, then back at me like I'm doing something incredibly horrible by taking my child to the potty.

What am I supposed to do?

It's not like I can just send him in alone to the crowded adult men's room and ask some stranger to help assist with getting him on the toilet. 🙄🤦‍♀️.

#22

I used to work with this lovely woman, super kind and well-meaning. I was pregnant with my first and all I craved was watermelon so bad that cucumber smelled like it. I'd eat whole cukes, salting a little bit per bite. She observed me consume one with my salt shaker in the other hand.

Afterwards, she came up to me with her sweet kindly smile and whispered lovingly to me, "Obey the cravings, hon, but watch your salt intake." She then punctuated her statement with a stern-faced motherly nod.

Little did she know that I had been "prescribed" salt by my doctor due to ridiculously low BP (for example, first thing in the morning, before I have anything to eat or drink, it can be as low as 80s over 50s).

People who knee-jerk mom-shame people don't know enough to say c**p about anything. Let it roll off like water on a duck's back. They're the ones making an a*s of themselves, not out of you.

Image credits: spentpatience

#23

Literally everything. From his outfit to his physical size. Like he's tall. He's 2.

The hardest one was about letting him feed himself, instead of feeding him myself after he hit 5mo. With doctor suggestion.

Image credits: IllChange1151

#24

My colleague shamed me for breastfeeding my (10-months at the time) baby everytime she woke up at night. She said i should hire a night nanny to "raise" my daughter if i'm not going to do it myself.

Image credits: Charming-Broccoli-52

#25

I got pregnant shamed one time. We were at a funeral and another mom that goes to our sitter was pregnant also. And mind you she is tiny and I’m average. Both of us were Uber pregnant and her husband asked if I was ready to have my baby and I was like yea I’m exhausted. He said yea you’re looking a little swollen. Needless to say his wife heard him and he got it the whole was home and the next morning from her!!

Image credits: GyrlmommaX2

#26

Some lady was appalled that my 11 month old early walker had only socks and no shoes at the park and was roaming about shoeless.


"Where are her shoes?!"


I told her that my baby just started walking and that she can't walk in shoes yet (she legitimately would just faceplant with shoes on). 


This lady gave me such a look and then took her toddler and left the park!


To this day I have no idea why this upset her so.

Image credits: Jade196

#27

When my son was little he cried a lot, I was breastfeeding so my MIL said "maybe he's crying so much cause your breast milk isn't good enough" she wanted me to formula feed...

Image credits: Trixy_Challenger

#28

Almost everything! for caring to much for my baby! I once was about to leave my parents house to go back home. then changed my mind because the baby was hungry and i said i'd feed her first my sister said "you are just being over the top" for wanting to feed my baby?

i forgot once to get extra clothes and was mom-shamed for it. i was pregant with my second and my first one threw up in her bed, my mom who came to help suggested she will pick her up kept shaming me for not knowing she vomitted!! staid the whole day making me feel like a bad mom. so many other stories. and sadly the mom-shaming always come from mothers. not once from my childless friends.

Image credits: Weary-Way4905

#29

My grandma gets so mad at me when i let my 4 year old pick out her own outfits, she goes “well why is she wearing that you could’ve put a nice outfit on her” like she’s 4 and if she wants to pick out her own clothes she’s going to be allowed to do that. or when i leave my daughters hair down instead of putting it up she’ll immediately take her to the bathroom and do it even if i tell her she didn’t want it done she wanted it down she doesn’t care she wants my daughter to look like a babydoll 24/7 and it’s just not going to happen and she constantly makes me feel like i can’t do it right.

#30

I am from Latin America and get a lot of “why are your daughter’s ears not pierced?” when I visit home. Until she was 6 months it was followed “you can’t even tell she is a girl”. Her hair has always been long since birth, so from 6 months onwards the need for bows/hairdo’s to prevent her hair from falling on her eyes have at least stopped the second (extremely sexist) portion of the question. She still gets pity looks though like “poor thing, she doesn’t have holes in her ears”.

Image credits: vixens_42

#31

My now toddler has hip dysplasia and was in a full body harness for several months as a newborn/infant. The number of “concerned” people that approached me out of the blue asking if I had dropped her or if she had been shaken was astounding.

#32

I literally got Mom shamed for making my first her own special birthday cake that was nicely decorated for her first birthday and a separate cake for everyone else. People are ruthless. You gotta water off a duck this kind of stuff.

#33

At my daughter's first swimming lesson, I was mom shamed by another mom because my 2yo daughter threw a tantrum after I forced her to take a shower after leaving the pool (you can read all about it on my post). I felt awful. But now I know she was just an a*****e.

That lady was also an a*****e. You daughter used her diaper while you were shopping. So what?

#34

My kid had the most severe dairy allergy his pediatrician office had seen. We switched to soy. Other non-dairy & non-soy formula did not work, he was vomiting actual fountains. Soy is the ONLY thing he kept down and he wasn't allergic to.

I got shamed non stop for feeding my baby toxins and poison. I was told to breastfeed, but I couldn't breastfeed, I had a miniscule supply, like 2oz a day from BOTH breasts after 6 weeks of trying to up it and extra pumping myself into a mental breakdown.

I got told to make my own, sorry but I'm not a f*****g nutritionist, I'm not doing that.

I got told I need to get goats milk, well that is also dairy.

I kept getting told soy is "not normal". Okay Brenda, how much f*****g blood is normal for a baby to s**t??? Because dairy makes my baby s**t blood.

#35

I was recently afforded the opportunity to go to a grocery store alone and during checkout a very young toddler (maybe 20mos?) was crying very loudly and was terribly upset a few registers over. The Complaint behind me were tisking loudly and talking about being unable to control a child. I said (to no one in particular) “poor baby, he must be getting teeth or just wants a hug from mom”.

Ffs, my 23mo wails at home if I don’t show her my belly button while I’m trying to have a p*o.

Image credits: TheMightyBuscemi

#36

My baby was crying in the grocery store one day, and a lovely older woman said out loud to nobody “sounds like somebody needs to be taken home”. It wasn’t in a concerned or empathetic way. She was clearly bothered by the crying, which I was doing my best to not be overstimulated by after a bad day.
I said right to her face “yes, as soon as I buy the formula she’s crying for you f*****g a*****e, I am NOT HERE BECAUSE IM HAVING A GOOD TIME”…
She apologised, I ran off to pay and we both cried in the car on the way home 🤣

It was always boomers who seemed to forget how it is when you’re knee deep in literal baby poop.

Image credits: courtobrien

#37

We had my best friend over for breakfast at our house one morning. She literally gasped and jokingly yelled my full name when she saw me add some sprinkles to my daughter's yogurt to get her to eat it. For context, she will never have kids.

#38

My daughter loves to carry her shoes but not wear them. She walks but only at home and she’s still gaining confidence. I say this because she’s not walking around stores barefoot. I’ve had a dozen or so people tell me my poor baby needs shoes on to protect her feet or why is she holding them instead of wearing them. While she’s in the buggy no where near the floor. I usually say something to the effect of “alright YOU try to get them on her”. Usually people look offended and walk off.

#39

Still breastfeeding at 20 months by a close friend and some family. Not outward shaming but definitely judgmental comments and implying that I am too attached / doing something bad for her. Makes me cry even writing this. Ppl are the worst!

#40

I went to the grocery store an hour ago. I forgot to get green beans for my baby's purees. I wanted to make her chicken and green beans, but I'm infamous for forgetting important things. I forgot to get formula too.

Right before going, my daughter had a 6 0z bottle, which is what she should be eating for her age, but I had a feeling she was still hungry. So I fed her an entire sweet corn puree I made yesterday. And then I gave her 2 Oz of water. So she had quite a bit.

I changed her diaper before leaving and went to smiths.

While checking out, this old lady judgementally asks me "when is the last time you changed her diaper, it's full!". I'm not confrontational, so I just casually replied that I'd changed it 30 mins prior. She just stared at me doubtfully and then commented that it's too hot outside to be having a small baby out.

I don't want to be too specific, but my daughter is close to one year of age. And also, how am i supposed to grocery shop without her? Just leave her at home alone? The rest of my household was at work.

I get that she should be changed as soon as possible, my baby has only ever had one diaper rash so I'm not lazy (not that you are if you have troubles with this; every baby is different), but it was literally a 30 min grocery run.

I don't know. Maybe I'm taking it too personally. It just annoys me that her dad never gets comments like that, meanwhile I've had a few (of varying topics) throughout the months.

#41

My MIL was a single mom that raised two boys. When my husband and I signed our 2.5 year old (at the time) up for daycare after having had a nanny, my MIL asked if our daughter would be going to daycare a full day, 9am-5pm. And I said yeah that’s when we work. And she said, but that’s such a long day. Like ?! She was a single mom, I’m sure she had her kids in daycare for “such a long day” too?!

#42

We went on a carnival cruise and took our 4 year old to Camp Ocean every single night so my husband and I could go to the casino or the shows. We told my SIL about it and she goes: “I don’t think I could ever do that… how do you trust them?”.

#43

The nurse practioner at my old obgyn mom shamed me for co-sleeping with my son because a 6 month old should be sleeping all night and I needed to let him cry.

That boy didn't sleep through the night till he was 2 years old. He was 1 year before we sleep-trained him. I had to co-sleep because he's a side/belly sleeper and I was solo all night because my husband was at work at night. No one would have slept at night if he wasn't on my chest. I'm a light sleeper, he was safe.

I lost all respect for that woman because I was a first time mom, trying to survive on 5 hours of broken sleep per night and sheer willpower.