Becoming a parent is a transformative experience. Depending on how you were brought up, your approach to raising your child may take one of two forms: you either swear not to repeat the same mistakes or unknowingly commit them again. 

Today’s list is more about the latter. We’ve collected responses from a recent Reddit thread in which people shared the parenting mistakes they’ve experienced and later realized they’ve repeated with their own kids. 

These replies involve giving a child the “because I said so” treatment, losing patience, and failing to show positive reinforcement, among many others. If you’re a mom or dad yourself, are you guilty of these? Let us know in the comments. 

#1

My dad was a workaholic and never got much time to spend with him. I find it hard to spend time with my kids. I'm there physically, its just hard emotionally.

Image credits: agedwisdom

#2

Loosing my patience. Honestly, the stress of being a working parent has given me more empathy for my own.

Image credits: DaintyBadass

#3

Telling my kid ‘because I said so’ instead of actually explaining things. I hated it as a kid, but now I totally get why my parents did it—sometimes you just don’t have the energy to argue with a 5-year-old.

Image credits: AdNext5396

#4

Taking their bad mood out on me (emotionally, not physically), then feeling guilty and overcompensating by being extra sweet later after calming down. That leads to a disorganized attachment style and fear of intimacy. Kids shouldn’t be subjected to such emotional volatility.

Image credits: CaliCat1291

#5

Showing love with food.

Image credits: TheVeronica3

#6

Being an overly critical perfectionist .

Image credits: emryldmyst

#7

My 3 year old has started saying "hey!" To get my attention. I keep replying "Hay is for horses." I always promised myself I wouldn't do that.

Image credits: Ok-Masterpiece-4716

#8

Trying to be ‘perfect’ instead of just being present. My parents stressed over little things, and now I catch myself doing the same. Learning to let go and enjoy the moment more.

Image credits: trevoriffic_

#9

Allowing my kids to see some of my anxiety. I try to keep a lid on it, because I know the reason I have it is because of how much my mother's very open anxiety shaped mine, but it slips out here and there (broken glass is a trigger).

Image credits: Justafana

#10

Too much screen time.... It's just easy when I need some quiet time, or need to get things done without a cling on.

Image credits: anastasiaviolet29

#11

Yelling. I hated it when I was a kid and swore I'd never do it myself.

Image credits: Justcallmeaunty

#12

Not showing genuine emotions/positive reinforcement.

Image credits: Cheetodude625

#13

Comparing siblings to each other.

Image credits: rnd1973

#14

I don't have children but I predict that I'll be a helicopter parent.

Image credits: MissMcFrostynips

#15

Desiring my child to be like me. Mind you, I don’t actually try to make them like me but sometimes I want them to be interested in my interests and share my passions but I know that my child is their own person. My mother consistently pushed me to try to be like her and my dad. My father, thankfully was always the reasonable one in the family and always pushed back against her when she badgered us about fitting into her “norm”. I won’t say I resented her for it because I still love her dearly but it made growing up hard because it took me forever to find out who I was and get my individuality.

Image credits: TheClungerOfPhunts

#16

Letting "five more minutes" turn into an hour.

Image credits: Maleficent-Shine-154

#17

Being too lax on the sense of humor. My daughter was always mature enough to know when and where it was appropriate. My son is going to get in some trouble and I’m going to have to laugh my a*s off while being really mad at him. lol.

Image credits: Cum_guru4U

#18

Trusting me sometimes when they shouldn't have.

Image credits: Fresh_Tea_1215

#19

Being antisocial with other parents and having it limit my own kids' social circles.

Image credits: Lo_Reiter

#20

I (35, F) grew up without a mother. She left when I was a toddler and gave up full custody to my dad. I had a series of step mothers, but they were mostly short lived and weren't very kind to me. I now have two daughters, and I try to act like what I imagine a mother should be. My references for behavior are from a Mish mash of friends moms and tv/movie characters. I just hope I'm doing well by them.

Image credits: bbreland

#21

My mother was alternately either over or underprotective as a result of which I developed severe emotional problems and had a real lack of trust and confidence in myself and the world during my teens. Took me a very long time to come to terms with after many disasters. My father wasn’t involved much in my upbringing due to divorce and my mother blocking him out of our lives mostly, it is later that I rekindled my relationship with my father.

#22

Impatience and anger 😭.

#23

Their mistake was HAVING children. I am making sure I don't make that mistake.

#24

Manipulation.

#25

Saying no without being able to explain exactly why.

#26

Giving me too much food 😬.

#27

No morals! They just said read the Bible and go to church.

I grew up as an entitled little s**t.

#28

Not being a business minded person.

#29

They tried to control the way I think and that's what made me rebellious but as I was an introvert kid I lost and gave my collar in their hands...ended up having no experience and friends.

#30

Talking badly about myself in front of my kid. I inadvertently taught my kid to hate himself too. Recognized it by the time he was 11, but the damage was done.

#31

Avoiding talking and confronting complex problems with honesty. Sometimes there are some issues that need to be solved with time, but a good portion of that is understanding where it comes from and confronting the issue.

#32

A lot of men have too much denial about the harm of circumcision to even question it, so they end up repeating the trauma on their kids rather than take the emotional hit of admitting they were harmed

#33

Not the answer that you’re looking for but i have two cats that have been healthy up until last month. I have become a neurotic overbearing mess. Not that I’ve ever been a laid back person but this is overboard even for me. If I’m like this over two cats I can’t imagine what I’d be like with children. So this has made me take a step back from having kids.

#34

We all know this much harsh syllabus, sitting at school all day for kids from 4 is not required at all. We all lagged life skills. But here we are repeating the same for our kids.