The signs of infidelity can easily go unnoticed, as many don’t think that someone they love and trust could betray them like that. In some of these cases, they find out about a cheating partner only thanks to people outside of the relationship. And even then, some can’t believe that their significant other could be capable of doing so.
Like this woman who, upon learning her husband cheated, thought it was all a lie. However, the neighbor who told her the truth also showed her the hard evidence, and eventually, she came to her senses.
Too often, signs of a cheating partner go unnoticed
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Luckily, this woman helped her neighbor see them and get out of a toxic relationship
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Many overlook signs of infidelity because their relationship feels safe
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Therapist Rachel Sussman, LCSW, says that many overlook signs of infidelity because their relationship feels safe, and they don’t want to accept the fact that their trusted and loved partner, whom they’ve dedicated a lot of time to, could be betraying them. Others could also be ignoring the suspicious behavior by convincing themselves that it’s all in their heads.
This gut feeling that we get when something doesn’t feel right isn’t so easy to listen to when a person is madly in love. However, it’s important to explore that uneasiness, which can sometimes turn out to be a true sign and save time from toxic relationships.
“Your instincts can help you recognize the signs of cheating, but instincts are usually refined by life experience,” says sex therapist Nikquan Lewis, MS, LMFT, to SELF. “It’s important to pay attention to those physical, mental, and emotional cues that your body gives when you’re uncomfortable. That’s how you learn to trust yourself: by being mindful and aware of what you’re experiencing.”
While some intentionally or unintentionally overlook cheating signs in their relationship, people outside of it can notice them first. It can be tempting to share this information with the person who was betrayed, but experts advise thinking twice before doing so.
Experts advise thinking twice before exposing a cheating partner
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When a person is a total stranger to someone who is getting cheated on or doesn’t know them well enough, it’s not advised to let them know about it. “You don’t know enough about the individuals involved to understand the circumstances behind it, and you may not be able to identify the risks to either you or the person being exposed,” said psychiatrist Scott Haltzman.
“For instance, if the spouse of the person having an affair engages in domestic violence, you could be setting up that other person to be at risk. Alternatively, if the spouse has an angry streak and can track you down, you could be setting yourself up for being at risk,” he explained.
A close person who can support and provide compassion through infidelity news is much more suitable to bear such information. But even then, experts say that they should be careful and come with hard evidence instead of accusations.
“If this is coming as a complete surprise, your friend may go into denial, become defensive, be embarrassed or feel devastated and angry, sometimes at you for bursting the bubble,” said marriage and family therapist Sheri Meyers. “Whatever the reaction, be compassionate.”
The readers thought the woman was right to expose neighbor’s cheating husband
Later, she shared an update, which commenters were very happy about
English (US) ·