It’s absolutely adorable when siblings are best friends. And when they admire one another and want to be just like their big brother or sister, it must melt their parents’ hearts. So when one 7-year-old begged her stepmother for the same hairstyle as her younger sister, it was almost impossible to say no.
But the mom later regretted innocently giving her stepdaughter braids after they became the catalyst for family drama. Below, you’ll find the full story that this woman recently posted on the “Am I the [Jerk]?” subreddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
This woman’s white stepdaughter begged her for braids that would match her younger sister’s
Image credits:amyengelsman (not the actual photo)
But she soon regretted giving in after the girl’s mother was furious about the hairstyle
Image credits:dasha11 (not the actual photo)
Image credits:Throwawayll2h
Later, the stepmom responded to several readers and provided more information on the situation
Some consider it to be cultural appropriation when white people sport African hairstyles
Most seven-year-olds have very little knowledge of racial issues and the complex conversations that surround cultures. For this little girl, a cute hairstyle is a cute hairstyle. And she likely did not realize that her younger sister has a different texture of hair than she does. In a way, this might be a beautiful thing, as she doesn’t not see any differences between herself and her sister.
But her stepmom, who has the lived experience of being an Afro-Caribbean woman, is well aware of why some people don’t support the idea of white people wearing braids. According to Anti-Racism Daily, choosing to wear braids or cornrows as a white person can be considered cultural appropriation, or when someone adopts or co-opts aspects of minority communities without acknowledging and paying respect to their culture.
This can be especially harmful when privileged communities take on aspects of minority cultures that have previously been associated with harmful stereotypes or been used to discriminate against. For example, Black hairstyles have often been seen as less “appropriate” or “professional” in many Western settings. Students have even been sent home from school because their African hair did not fit into their school’s “hair policy,” and some have lost jobs due to their hairstyles.
Image credits:FamilyStock (not the actual photo)
There are resources available online to teach white parents how to care for and style African hair
“When non-Black women wear braids and cornrows, they’re unknowingly removing the cultural significance behind them and misrepresenting how people should view Black women when they wear similar hairstyles,” Anti-Racism Daily explains. Many believe that it’s unfair for white people to choose to wear these hairstyles, knowing that they can undo them whenever they want and continue to fit Western beauty standards while enjoying white privilege.
In this case, the mother was hesitant from the get-go to braid her stepdaughter’s hair, but she did not anticipate that the girl’s hair would need to be cut to remove them. In fact, it did not need to be, as her mom could have simply searched for resources online to teach her how to remove braids with beads. It’s quite common nowadays for white parents to have children who are Black, either through adoption or through being with a Black partner, so there are plenty of resources online to educate them on African hair.
According to the American Academy of Arts & Sciences, of all of the mixed children born in the US in 2018, 13.3% were Black-white, 8.5% were Black-Hispanic, and nearly 4% were Black and mixed race. Black children also account for 23% of the kids in the child welfare system, meaning that many Black kids may end up being adopted into white families.
Image credits:Christin Hume (not the actual photo)
It’s important for Black children to be taught how beautiful their hair is
It’s important that white parents who adopt Black children understand how to care for their kids’ hair, style their hair and teach them that their hair is absolutely beautiful. And lucky for these parents, there are plenty of resources available nowadays. One of which is Styles 4 Kidz, a Chicago-based salon and organization created by Tamekia Swint that provides hair care services, support, and training for transracial families that are adopting or fostering Black children.
On the Styles 4 Kidz website, parents can join a training portal and learn about the tools needed for styling textured hair, which products they should purchase and even learn simple techniques to ensure their children’s hair is always looking its best.
“This is important because somebody’s kid went to school today not feeling confident about how they look because of their hair,” Swint said while being interviewed on Strahan and Sara. “It’s so important for our kids to feel good about themselves.”
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this mother did anything wrong by braiding her stepdaughter’s hair? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article discussing drama between parents, look no further than right here!
Image credits:Alex Robinson (not the actual photo)
Readers assured the woman that she had done nothing wrong, while many noted that the haircut was not necessary
English (US) ·