“I Was Constantly Crying”: Hugh Hefner’s Widow Crystal Unveils Life At The Playboy Mansion

10 months ago 20

Hugh Hefner’s last wife, Crystal Hefner, opened up about her upcoming tell-all memoir, revealing strict rules she had to obey while living at the “gross” Playboy Mansion and playing the role of a “caregiver” to a man more than 60 years her senior, with whom she admitted she wasn’t “in love” with.

The now 37-year-old entrepreneur and advocate revealed that she was made to promise the late Playboy editor-in-chief: “I want you to continue my legacy going forward…and I want to remind you to only say good things about me,” she says he once told her.

The promise subsequently inspired Crystal’s memoir titled Only Say Good Things: Surviving Playboy and Finding Myself, which will be available on January 23, 2024.

Crystal Hefner opened up about her upcoming tell-all memoir and spoke about living at the “gross” Playboy Mansion and playing the role of Hugh Hefner’s “caregiver” 

Image credits: Charley Gallay/Getty Images

While being married to the international sex icon from 2012 to 2017, Crystal recalled that the one who has been nicknamed “Hef” by his numerous girlfriends had quite the hold on his girls, and that felt good, she explained in the book.

Crystal, who now sells rental properties for a living and, for the last year, has been traveling between Los Angeles, where she lives, and Hawaii, where she bought a farm, told People: “At the time, I thought I was on top. I thought, wow, if I just like everything that he likes and do all the things that he wants me to do, then I’m the favorite. 

“And I was, but I just lost myself in the process.”

“I feel like I was constantly crying for everything and everybody there,” she said of her days at the Playboy mansion

Image credits: Ethan Miller/Getty Images

Crystal moved to the infamous mansion in Holmby Hills, Los Angeles when she first accepted Hef’s invitation in October 2008, when she was 22 and he was 82.

According to the December 2009 Playmate of the Month, the ultimate party boy had strict rules about everything, right down to making his girlfriends come to him each week to collect their “allowance” that he doled out in crisp bills, People reported.

She further revealed that the magazine publisher stipulated the money was to be spent on making them look more beautiful and had opinions on “weird, silly, stupid things.”

Crystal recalled: “Our nail polish couldn’t be anything but some neutral color, no French manicure.” She also remembered him saying, “Don’t have a belly button ring because that’s trashy.”

“He would tell me ‘Wear the flag,'” she added. “That’s the Playboy logo, and those shirts were uncomfortable and cheap.”

Crystal recalled Hugh’s first proposed marriage, which she initially accepted but then ran for the hills

Image credits: Ethan Miller/Getty Images

Hef’s third wife also revealed how Hugh would point to her roots whenever her dark natural brown started growing out. She said: “So I’d have to go bleach it, and it would burn my scalp, and I’d have blisters.

“But for some reason, I thought this was all normal, and that’s what it meant to be seen as beautiful in Hef’s eyes.”

The widow explained what living in the actual mansion was like: “This place doesn’t really get cleaned that well, and there’s mold, and it just felt just kind of run down and gross after a while. Too, too many parties. It was worn out.”

Crystal reportedly wrote in her memoir that the birds in the mansion were dying of thirst and that it felt like an apt analogy for the women living there, too.

Crystal also revealed that Hugh Hefner wanted to control her appearance and stipulated the money was to be spent on making her look more beautiful

Image credits: crystalhefner

She told People: “I feel like I was constantly crying for everything and everybody there.

“All those animals were so depressed and sad-looking. It was all an illusion. I don’t even know if I was happy, to be honest.”

In 2014, Crystal and Hef gave a tour of the mansion’s private zoo for The Hollywood Reporter, which featured monkeys, cockatoos, peacocks, African cranes, parrots, toucans, pelicans, doves, and all sorts of other animals.

Crystal’s book was named after a promise she made to Hugh to continue his legacy going forward and “only say good things about him” 

Image credits: onlysaygoodthings.com

Nowadays, the widow admitted to the New York Times that she isn’t sure if Los Angeles is her “forever place” anymore because she liked the idea of living “somewhere that’s a little less superficial.”

The ex-spouse recalled Hugh’s first proposed marriage, which she initially accepted but then ran for the hills. 

After what she described as a destructive relationship with Dr. Phil’s son Jordan, she eventually returned to marry Hugh, People reported. 

Image credits: crystalhefner

While she acknowledged that she loved Hugh, she was never “in love” with him, and she served as his caregiver in his final years.

She said: “I realized I was dealing with a really big power imbalance. It seemed like a world of success and fantasy, but everyone’s having to sleep with an 80-year-old. 

“There’s a price. Everything has a price.”

In 2017, Hugh came down with a minor infection that led to his death from sepsis and cardiac arrest on September 27, and he passed away at the age of 91.

Crystal has received some backlash after announcing the publication of her new memoir

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