The wardrobe is an essential part of wedding planning. After all, everyone wants to look their best on the Big Day. Typically, we think it’s the bride who worries most about what she looks like. But the groom is also entitled to concern over his looks.
These soon-to-be newlyweds got into an argument over the bride wearing heels. The groom, struggling with insecurity because of his height, asked his bride-to-be to wear flat shoes. The problem was that the bride wished to wear heels. Unsure whether she was being unreasonable, the bride-to-be decided to consult with the Internet.
To know more about mitigating wedding wardrobe disagreements, Bored Panda reached out to wedding planner Jamie Wolfer. She was kind enough to educate us about the importance of the groom’s wishes for the wedding day and gave styling and wardrobe alternatives for couples of different heights.
More info: Wolfer & Co | Jamie Wolfer on YouTube | The Union Podcast
Although wearing heels can be uncomfortable, they’re still the classic footwear for brides
Image credits: Agung Pandit Wiguna (not the actual image)
This groom asked his future bride not to wear heels because he felt insecure about his height
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev (not the actual image)
The bride-to-be clarified some things in a later update
Image credits: higherGround77
Both the bride and the groom should feel comfortable on their Big Day
Popular media, such as movies and reality TV shows, would have us believe that only brides care about their appearances on their wedding day. However, it’s also perfectly normal for a groom to be concerned about his appearance during the Big Day.
Wedding planner Jamie Wolfer seconds this. “Absolutely, the groom should definitely have a say in how he looks on the wedding day! It’s his big day, too, after all. Everyone should feel their best and most authentic selves, and that includes choosing an outfit that reflects personal style and comfort. It’s all about feeling great and confident!”
However, neither partner should pressure the other to wear something they don’t want. Wolfer says that a groom having a say in the bride’s wardrobe is a bit more nuanced. “While open communication is key in any relationship, clothing choices, especially for such a personal event as a wedding, should ultimately rest with the individual wearing the outfit.”
“It’s important that each person feels they are expressing themselves genuinely,” she explains. “Sharing thoughts and preferences can be part of the fun and collaborative spirit of wedding planning, as long as it’s done with respect and care for each other’s feelings and personal tastes.”
Image credits: Jeremy Wong (not the actual image)
Shoe inserts for the groom and flat shoes for the bride is one possible solution
In this particular story, the disagreement about the wedding day wardrobe stems from the groom’s insecurity about his height. Although for him, it might seem that the only acceptable solution is for the bride to compromise, there are other solutions, like opting for shoe inserts.
“Height differences can totally be managed with some clever wardrobe choices,” Jamie Wolfer says. “Shoe inserts are a great option for the groom if he’s looking to add a bit of height. They’re discreet and can make a big difference in how he feels standing next to his partner.”
“For the bride, opting for gorgeous flats instead of heels is a practical and stylish choice. Flats have come a long way, and you can find some stunning options that are every bit as bridal as a pair of high heels. Plus, they’re way more comfortable, which means you can dance the night away without a second thought about sore feet,” Wolfer adds.
She points out that the most important thing is for the bride and groom to feel good on their wedding day. “At the end of the day, it’s all about how you both feel. If the height difference isn’t a big deal to you, embrace it! Weddings are about celebrating your unique love, not conforming to traditional standards.”
Image credits: Asad Photo Maldives (not the actual image)
Couples can find a compromise by clearly communicating what they both want and why
“Finding a compromise when couples have differing opinions on wedding day attire can actually be a fun and enlightening process,” Jamie Wolfer believes. She recommends both the bride and groom make lists of the things they definitely want to include (or exclude) from their wedding attire. “This could be anything from the style of the outfit to specific traditions they want to honor,” Wolfer says.
“Once you both have your lists, compare them! You might find that some priorities align, which makes those decisions easier. For the areas where you differ, discuss why those elements are important to you. Understanding the ‘why’ can sometimes make it easier to find [the] middle ground or even appreciate the other’s perspective more.”
What if the discussion starts to get a little heated? Wolfer reminds couples that it’s all about communication and respect. “Maybe introduce a rule where only one person speaks at a time, and the other truly listens without planning their counter-argument in their head. Sometimes, just feeling heard can make a big difference.”
“And if you’re really stuck, don’t be afraid to think outside the box. Maybe there’s a way to incorporate both styles through accessories or a change of outfit partway through the day. Remember, it’s your day, and it should reflect both of your styles and personalities,” the wedding planner says.
Image credits: Gary Barnes (not the actual image)
Some people believed the bride had the right to wear whatever she liked
Others thought both the bride and groom were inconsiderate of each other’s feelings
And some people thought the bride should put her fiancé first, not the shoes
English (US) ·