Vacationing with a partner by your side is total bliss. Romantic dinners on the beach, wonderful activities, and new experiences can bring two lovers closer together. But what if one is terrified of heights and the other is crazy for bungee jumping? Or one doesn’t like Mediterranean cuisine and the other loathes spicy food? Do you stay inside all day watching soap operas and munching on tasteless salads?
Redditor Bigappleparade and her husband had a similar dilemma when deciding on a trip for their 10th anniversary. She wanted to go where it was sunny and full of beaches, while he considered staying at his cabin in Canada. Since the vacation was for a special occasion, the wife still booked it to the Caribbean, which her partner completely rejected. Despite this, she still decided just not to go with him but with another man.
Planning a vacation as a couple may cause disagreements
Image credits: Viktoria Slowikowska / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When this husband refused to go to the Caribbean with his wife, she still decided to go only with another man
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The husband edited his post to answer some questions
Image credits: anonymously83638
Reactions to his post were mixed
Not long after, the wife came forward to tell her version of the story
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: bigappleparade
Some couples may find it beneficial to travel separately
Those couples who can’t seem to agree on their vacation plans may consider taking a trip separately. For example, 32% of Canadians have indicated that they have traveled without their partner in the past, while 6% said that they do so regularly and thoroughly enjoy it. This may be surprising to some, but it shows how modern relationships are dynamically changing.
Despite spending time apart, it’s scientifically proven to make partners feel closer. When one’s significant other isn’t near, our brain releases fewer feel-good hormones that create the feeling of love. After a while, this may lead to heartache and longing for a partner. But if it’s handled responsibly, while learning to communicate and listen to each other’s needs, it can strengthen the relationship. A reunion after a vacation apart may be a good experience that solidifies the couple’s bond.
There’s also no denying that different people like different things, and not every interest is shared in the relationship. One may prefer to camp in the woods, while the other wants to sunbathe in a luxurious resort. Going on a solo vacation offers the freedom to go anywhere and do anything without making compromises or settling for something you don’t like.
In addition, it can be a great time to rediscover oneself, as people in relationships tend to become “one” and lose their identity as independent individuals. Taking some “me time” and traveling alone may empower and introduce you to a new part of yourself that would have otherwise been hidden. When not being codependent on their partner, one may realize they are much braver, stronger, and more open to experiencing new things.
Besides, solo traveling allows the person to spend more quality time with friends and family, leave the children in good hands, use vacation days without worrying about schedule conflicts, build trust, and save money.
However, there are times when leaving your partner behind is a bad idea
However, separate vacations aren’t going to work if the relationship is struggling and partners are just looking for an escape. This means that there are bigger problems that need addressing, and it’s unlikely that the “break” will result in a reunion or refreshed marriage.
Instead of planning a take-off to the Caribbean, the couple should sit down and find the root of the problem and start solving it. Running away from the issues is just going to make matters worse.
Whether it’s fine to travel apart comes down to the relationship itself. Content partners with a strong bond should have no difficulties doing so alone. But if one of them expresses discomfort about the other taking an independent vacation, perhaps it’s best not to go solo. It may not necessarily mean that there’s a lack of trust. Some might dislike being on their own, or perhaps they may feel unprioritized or lack quality time together.
The best thing to do is talk about separate vacations beforehand and listen to what each party has to say about it. If they agree, then hooray – go book the trip and start packing your bags. But if not, find out the reason why. This could be as simple as wanting to spend more time together or something deeper, such as distrust.
After her intervention commenters unanimously started shaming the husband
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