Many people enjoy boasting about having zero regrets and standing by every decision they’ve ever made. And while dwelling on the past can be harmful, is it really so bad to reflect on our lives and wish we had done just a few things differently? 

Redditors over 40 have been opening up about the biggest regrets they have from their youth, so we’ve gathered some of their thoughts below. Whether they wish they had started a skincare routine sooner or feel that they missed out on valuable time with their parents, we appreciate their honesty. Enjoy reading through and reflecting on your own choices, and be sure to upvote the replies that remind you not to make the same mistakes!

#1

Not enjoying it more , didn't realize how fast my younger years would pass

Image credits: mugshade1

#2

Not saving money is a big one. The younger you are simple things like a dollar a day, or 10-20 etc in an account that you don’t withdrawal from.

Image credits: JackSkelllington

#3

Living life on other people’s terms, and not mine. Young people: it’s YOUR life. YOU are entitled to live it the way YOU want. ❤️

Image credits: trashleybanks

#4

Seems so cliche but I did not wear enough sunscreen. I used to do the whole lay out with baby oil so I could get a "savage" tan. How stupid. Now my face looks like a topographic map of California. Wear sunscreen kids!

Image credits: Catalyst886

#5

Not learning a musical instrument. I’m trying now but it’s harder at my ancient age.

Image credits: loves-science

#6

I should've started traveling much earlier in life, while i was still young & fit. That & not taking better care of my teeth

Image credits: thrwawaythrwaway_now

#7

**Deferring too readily to the judgment of others.** I had the naive belief that other people had my best interest at heart. Speak up for yourself. Defend your own decisions. No one is out there waiting to make you a star.

Image credits: Gorf_the_Magnificent

#8

Caring too much about what others thought of me.

Image credits: Asexualhipposloth

#9

Disrespecting my parents when I was a teenager. They really *did* know what they were talking about, I was just too much of a s**thead to see it

Image credits: b_wald81

#10

Not going harder at everything, thinking I had time.

You dont.

Image credits: duraace206

#11

Stretching and maintaining muscle mass. When I had kids I stopped both and it took a decade to get that back. Treat your body well. Something happens around 38 and the better shape you are in the better your 40’s and after will feel.

Image credits: katelynn2380210

#12

Spending too much time worrying about love and not enough time concentrating on happiness.

Image credits: UsesCommonSense

#13

Not asking older family members more questions about our family and forebears while they were still alive.

Image credits: PeggyNoNotThatOne

#14

Not setting firm boundaries with people. Givers have to set limits because takers have no limits.

Image credits: log899

#15

Not enjoying being single. Looking back my social interactions were centered around finding the one. I should have just enjoyed getting to know people

Image credits: atx_buffalos

#16

Not investing and not appreciating people who love you.

Image credits: PermissionCrazy8452

#17

Not cutting out s****y friendships earlier.

Image credits: ThrowItOut43

#18

Trusting authority figures and older adults above my own instinct on things.

Image credits: ifnotmewh0

#19

The biggest thing for me is not recognizing when it’s time to quit something. Of course there’s something to be said for sticking it out, to a point, but you also have to recognize when a situation is just not right for you and move on. I stayed in certain relationships and jobs for way too long because I was too lazy or too scared to make a change. College, too…. I hate the college I graduated from, and looking back should have transferred after my first year, but was too scared or thought I couldn’t.

#20

Thinking I needed a romantic partner to be happy. I stayed in an abusive marriage for so long because I couldn’t imagine doing things alone. It is infinitely better to be alone than in a bad relationship. When I choose to be in a relationship again, it will be because I’m happy and compatible with the person, not because I don’t want to be alone.

Image credits: anitabelle

#21

1. Save a bit of money. Yeah, enjoy it, but save some too.
2. Don’t waste time chasing girls. Those that want chasing aren’t worth it.
3. Don’t smoke.
4. Stay close to your friends, don’t drop them.
5. Listen to your parents. Respect them. They won’t be there forever.
6. Be in family pictures. Even if you look like s**t, can be arsed.

#22

Not getting the mental health assistance I desperately needed.

I've suffered from anxiety and mild depression since my teen years. In part, it made me a recluse and a social outcast because I felt I was unable to interact properly with people and the world.

Today, on meds, I am a different person. I no longer fear social interactions, and if I was aware of the results back when I was a teen, I likely would have made better decisions for myself.

Image credits: ZephyrShow

#23

Shoulda worn ear plugs at all of those concerts...

Image credits: jer123456and7

#24

Not cutting myself some goddamn slack. Life isn’t a quest for perfection.

Image credits: rueselladeville

#25

I regret being afraid to make money. Sounds weird, but what I thought was me being "authentic" and not caring about the rat race was really just a combination of laziness and undervaluing myself.

#26

Thinking you won't age. You will and it will hit you fast. Take care of younger self so older self will have a great retirment.

Also, take lots of pics and make sure to have backups.

#27

Speaking too quick not listening and thinking more.

Image credits: Brave_Bluebird5042

#28

Smoking for several years! Waste of money and not good for the health

Image credits: takechances2024

#29

Not saving for my retirement as soon as I got a job when I was 18, started at 25. I’m 43 now, won’t retire until I’m closer to 70

Image credits: Trin_42

#30

Not being careful with my credit. I got my first credit card at 18 and went absolutely crazy. It’s taken me years to climb up to decent credit and even more years to get to excellent credit.

Image credits: BlackBra81

#31

Lack of skills in relation to carpentry/electrical/plumbing etc...wish I would have went to vocational school the last couple years of high school

#32

Worrying so much. In hindsight all that stuff seem so silly now.

Image credits: Hattkake

#33

Not appreciating how lovely I was

Image credits: marvellousmim82

#34

Not coming out when I was in high school

#35

Dating/being friends with losers and feeling responsible for them.

Image credits: Hollocene13

#36

Not having the confidence to say “f**k this, I want better.”

#37

I’m 40 and I regret spending 36 years of my life in the Mormon church.

I wish I would have actually lived my life. I wish I would have had a chance to have a couple of wild years and have fun. Explore my sexuality. Make more diverse friendships. It sounds silly but my biggest one is dressing cute. I am so sad that I wasted my youth wearing knee length shorts and tshirts. I was so young and cute and I wish I could go back and wear a bikini.

I also got married when I was 19. Young marriage is quietly encouraged in the Mormon church. I actually don’t regret that because I adore my husband and we have a fantastic relationship. I do regret making him join the church of course.

Edited to add…it wasn’t about just dressing sexy and showing skin. It’s about being taught that my body wasn’t my own and that it was something dirty that needed to be hidden. My mom altering my prom dress into a matronly monstrosity. It was all the times I was miserable in the summer wearing my magic mormon underwear under my clothes.

#38

Worrying about what other people think.

#39

Too afraid of getting rejected. Even when a girl showed interest it typically had to be overly obvious for me to act.

#40

Caring what people thought

Not concentrating on my education - I was and still am pretty smart but I didn’t apply myself the way I should have. So I got mediocre grades and the lack of focus followed me into college where i struggled

#41

Not voting in anything but presidential elections. I feel like my whole generation got tricked into letting the boomers stay in control because we didn’t understand the importance of local and state level politics. Your vote can make a difference but you have to vote in ALL the elections and you have to have patience because it takes time for people to rise in politics and for policies to get enacted.

#42

Slept around far too much. It sounds like a good thing but it's left me emotionally stunted and forming meaningful relationships has been very difficult for me. Older people always told me to "Play the field" when I was younger but I realize now it was a con. I should have just married my HS sweetheart and maybe I wouldn't be single in my 40's.

#43

Drinking alcohol was the biggest waste of time.

#44

Spending most of my 20s drunk. I don't regret all the fun, because it was great fun. But I could have had that same fun without being so wasted. I kicked it in my early 30s, don't miss it.

Image credits: SouthTippBass

#45

Not getting out and dating more. Or at all, for that matter.

#46

Getting married just to escape my mother

#47

I have to say not being a kinder person and not realizing how important it is to save more

#48

Not realizing people who traumatized me wanted to dull/kill my beautiful shine. I thought there was something inherently wrong with me. That wasn’t the case at all.

#49

Not buying a property because my mother had a negative opinion about it. I would say make your own mind up, have the strength to follow your instincts. That was 30 years ago and I still feel regret every time I see the property.

#50

I had about $100,000 to my name when I was 24/25. A guy told me to invest in a new company called Netflix. I went to a Fidelity website
and tried to use $50,000 of what I had, but it was so f*****g confusing I couldn't figure it out and eventually just gave up.

I can't remember the exact price at the time but I remember dividing the amount I wanted to invest in half so it was probably about 2 bucks. I would have had 25,000 shares of Netflix.

F**k.

#51

I wish so badly that I'd connected more with my dad... he loved me so deeply and was so proud, followed all of my accomplishments and supported everything I did, always bragged aboutme.

I never ignored him and we hugged and would chat when I'd come home during/soon after college, but I was just always too busy as I grew oldet... then just like that I'm woken up in the middle of the night to a phone call that he's gone.

I'm blessed to have had a father like him, many don't get that, and also blessed to have had him in my first 25 years of life, many don't get that either, but I still miss him terribly and get very sad when holidays come and the whole family celebrates with my wife and 3 kids. He'd have been such a great grandpa because he was such a great dad.

I miss you old man, sorry I never took the time to be closer... I love you always pops.

#52

(1) Believing in the myth of Soul Mates.

Man, that kept me in toxic relationships for way too long.

(2) Your genitals are not special. There are so many people who need you to affirm that they are the best lay you’ve ever had - it’s exhausting having to be the world greatest actor every single second in a a relationship. Especially when the bang was just mediocre, Gary!

Ugh.

Be honest with each other and yourselves.

If someone is going to love you, it’s not because the sex is amazing. It’s a nice to have, but not a mandatory requirement.

(3) Not taking my things with me because I just wanted to exit the relationship quickly.

Bedding is expensive, cutlery is expensive, towels are expensive. Retain your own apartment for at least 6 mo AFTER you move in together. That way, when s**t goes south, you can just leave instead of staying for fear of starting over.

Yup. 6 mo. You can tell a lot about a person in the first 3 months of living together. By 6, you know what you’re into. People don’t split up sooner because of the headache of moving… wasting years with the wrong person.

#53

Eating too much fast food in my 30's...

#54

Nothing. I’d do it all again. f**k ups and failures too.

#55

1) Quit worrying about the other people who don't matter, and make sure the ones who do matter to you aren't toxic. Everyone tries to saddle everyone else with all these expectations and judgements. It's garbage. If you're doing your best where you are, it'll be alright so don't let it eat at you.

2) Get organized and focused. You don't have to know what you want to do or be, but you should take the opportunity to get yourself together so that your planning, organization, and follow through skills are strong enough that as you do figure out meaningful goals and objectives, you can march forward toward them effectively. (Read The 7 Habits, one of the few self help books that isn't wimpy fluff)

3) Take care of your body. Eat well and get regular exercise. There are so many ways to do something active that you don't have an excuse because you are unable to afford a gym or hating running. Also get good consistent sleep.

4) Treat yourself and other people with respect. That means being kind when its appropriate, not being jealous or petty, and caring (at appropriate levels) for others, being helpful, courteous, etc.

5) Acknowledge your debts to others even if you can't 'repay' them. If you show some promise, other people will try and help you, be appreciative, acknowledge and show appreciation. Do it for others when you can.

6) Do things, try things, talk to people, read - basically learn. That's how you figure it out to the extent anyone ever does.

Life is a marathon, building one you're proud of takes a long time and a lot of effort. You have to trust that doing good things the right way will always get you where you were meant to be. And you have to remember there is no script or map for a human life. So ideas about what you should be doing or where you should be are not generally useful or meaningful. As long as you are doing things, and doing your best to do them the right way (be respectful, care, put in effort, etc) then your life will turn out to be baller, for you, regardless of the trials and tribulations.

#56

My poor choice of a partner as the mother of my children. Nothing destroys your lifes work quite as quickly as a divorce. My daughter believes her mother has Borderline Personality Disorder. I was driving down the road with my son one day, he looks at me and says " The biggest mistake you ever made was getting married. "

This is his own f****n' mother he's talking about. She is estranged from both kids lives. She is truly a horrible person, but she had long black hair, long legs and a great a*s. She was a lot of fun when my 21yr old a*s met her. Looking back almost 30yrs later, I could have done a lot better.

#57

Renting for so long when I probably could have afforded a house back in 2008. Now it looks like I may never get one

#58

Wish I would have put more money away early, somewhere safe where the money grows and I don't touch.

#59

Wasting time. I threw away so much time. Time wasted doing nothing. Time wasted not being spent with the people that I love. Not paying attention to them and showing them my love. In the end, we don't run out of love, money, breath.... We run out of time.

#60

Setting unrealistic expectations

#61

Not learning a second language. Trying to do it now is hard AF!!!

#62

I take an *all's well that ends well* approach. I know I used to have regrets, but now I can't even remember them. My life turned out better than expected, and I'm comfortable, healthy, and at peace. Any mistakes I made were part of what got me here, so it's all good.

#63

Saving. I'm 59 now and will have to work til I croak. Why didn't I save all that bday cash.

#64

Getting married young. We were a fun young couple but when it came time for an adult relationship it was apparent we had completely different views on things like budgeting, cleaning, parenting, working. Basically we were opposites on everything except the sense of humor and mutual attraction.

#65

Being so shy/anxious that others thought I was arrogant. I weren’t. I just avoided eye contact ?‍♀️