Thanksgiving is generally remembered as a time for family reunions, gratitude, and, of course, delicious food. But for some people, it’s a holiday associated with a particular incident that will forever be etched in their memories. 

These folks shared their stories on Reddit for the entire internet to see. Some are about pranks that made for a fun evening, while others were recollections of typical drama around this time of year. 

#1

I was having a farting contest with my cousin in the bathroom. She let out one of those ones that ends in an upturned squeak, like her a*****e was meekly asking me a question. I lost it and threw my head back in laughter, and when my head came back down, it was into the granite countertop. at like 127 mph. I split my forehead open and had to go to the ER for stitches.But wait^theresmore.

In the ER, one of the nurses asked how I cut my forehead and I told her I was laughing at a fart. She laugh-farted in response.


I was 11 so obviously it was the funniest goddamn thing that had ever happened to me.


Anyway I’m 30 now and still have that stupid scar right between my eyebrows and sometimes I remember how I ruined thanksgiving like 20 years ago and then a nurse farted and I laugh.

Image credits: Dirt-McGirt

#2

A family friend, who happened to be lesbian, thought it would be a good idea to carry at least 20 plates across the living room. As one could expect, she dropped all of the plates onto the floor.
Then my grandfather, who barely knows this friend says the most infamous words in our families history, “you know those lesbians. Slippery fingers.”.

Image credits: anon

#3

When I was a little kid, I asked to say the prayer. It was a big honor to get to say it. My family was notorious for fighting so I said my little prayer all nice and cute then ended with a smarta*s "God please let my family act normal today and not fight". Before I could blink my German grandmother slapped me across the face really hard which pissed my mother off. Lots of yelling and we left.

Image credits: mpaug

#4

Walked into the garage with my dog and a casserole. My dads champion show dog came galloping out to meet me let out a death scream, had a heart attack and died. Tried cpr for ten minutes. It was clearly dead. He went inside saying what did (me)he do! Grabbed a bottle and left. I picked up the dog and went around to vet clinics for one that was open, the one that was just said yes he’s dead.
I’ve never recovered. It was also my birthday.

Image credits: bldyjingojango

#5

My dad had an allergic reaction to shrimp cocktail before dinner and his face blew up. He refused to come out of the kitchen or sit at the table with us. He was just eating his food in the kitchen and trying to act like things were normal, like yelling out “Hey, good mashed potatoes this year, huh?”

Meanwhile, my mom is anger-crying at the table, telling us to just eat our f*****g food that she worked all day on. All of us kids are just very scared and very confused. My sister starts crying because things are so weird and no one wants to eat because there is so much tension. Eventually, my mom convinces my dad that she needs to take him to the ER. My high school senior-aged brother took the bottle of wine and shared it with seventh grade me and got me drunk for the first time. My parents came home to me throwing up on the bathroom floor.

Image credits: Skr000

#6

My mother and grandmother had plans to go to a restaurant last year, my sister convinces them to go somewhere else at last minute. Of course this means no reservations but sister is convinced that it'll be fine and they might just have to wait a few minutes for a table. I live in another state so I get to experience all of this from a distance.

They end up sitting at the bar while waiting for a table, having a few drinks and appetizers. After the 2nd round of martinis my mother looks over and my grandmother is leaning back in her chair, completely limp and unresponsive. Everyone freaks out, paramedics are called, grandma is rushed to the ER.

I'm 1,200 miles away when my mother calls to tell me what happened. At this point grandma is at the ER, still unresponsive, crazy low blood pressure and high heart rate. I'm ready to book plane tickets and rush to the airport when mom calls back "Don't worry, everything's OK, your grandmother just got drunk." Her blood test came back completely normal except with a BAC of 0.24 (3x legal limit). She was awake now so I got to talk to her and she was crying "I'm so sorry, I've ruined Thanksgiving." I assured her that she hasn't ruined Thanksgiving, and that everyone is just happy she's OK.

So my grandma is 90 years old, about 4'8", 100lbs. She hadn't eaten anything all day because she knew they were having a big dinner. She also ordered another martini while no one was looking, so the 2nd martini was actually her 3rd. This turned into the perfect storm of really drunk grandma.

TL;DR Grandma got run over by a martini.

Image credits: dalgeek

#7

My great grandmother died at the table right as we were bowing our heads to pray on Thanksgiving. She had been slowly dwindling in health so the whole family gathered together figuring it was her last Thanksgiving, little did we know how right we were. Her kids, their kids and their kids kids, family she hasn't seen in years, about 20 people all gathered around with her pushed up in her recliner. Food is stuffed on the table and we bow our heads to pray (she was devoutly religious) before we dig in. As we raise our heads and open our eyes we find great grandma slumped over, tongue lolling out dead. As someone started compressions and another person called an ambulance, my youngest cousin dug into her meal completely unaffected by the dead body. Anyway, a nice memory for Thanksgiving every year.

Image credits: Holyitzpapalotl

#8

So 25 years ago my son was born early Nov. My mom's family is all prim and proper. So my adopted brother takes my 2 week old son to check his diaper during dinner. Comes back with diaper in hand saying it doesn't look right proceed to smell it said something is wrong. So he tasted it. Everyone is flipping out. He filled a clean diaper with pumpkin pie filling it was hilarious.

Image credits: fordfan289

#9

My aunt not being able to come because she was in jail for trying to shoplift a turkey from the grocery.

Image credits: Buttxtouch

#10

I thought it would be a funny prank to put a rubber chicken in the oven on Thanksgiving. My mom would laugh and laugh. Ho ho ho, there's a rubber chicken in the oven, what a gag.

13 year old me didn't realize that normal adults usually preheat the oven before putting the turkey in.

Image credits: shhh_its_sneakos

#11

My grandpa and grandma got divorced, and grandpa remarried.

One Thanksgiving, my not-so-well grandpa stood and declared he regretted letting my grandma divorce him, and that it was the biggest mistake of his life. Right in front of his current wife.

edit: holy s**t sorry I didn't realize people would give a f**k. What happened next? What did this outburst of drama culminate to? Nothing. He sat back down, old wife chuckled nervously, we continued with speeches (yes this was during the "what are you thankful for" round about) and all tried to act like it didn't happen. Everyone was thanking the current wife for taking care of him and everything she does, lots of love, but she was visibly upset/disappointed. Now (many years later) he's in a nursing home and she's not.

Image credits: bmbmjmdm

#12

Last year my parents were discussing my younger brother, who's in college and wanted to take a gap semester. They were concerned because he already wasn't showing much focus and they were worried that if he took a gap semester then he would never go back.

I tried to reassure them by reminding them that I, like him, really hated college the first time I went, but then I went back a second time and had more drive and focus because the second attempt was based on my own desire to improve myself, rather than just trying to please them.

And my dad very calmly and casually said, "Yea, well, you're not exactly the role model we want him to emulate."

And that was pretty much the most savage thing my dad ever said to me. Thankfully I had already known for quite some time that I was the black sheep of the family, but to hear him say it so bluntly was unexpected, and I basically stormed out without another word.

#13

Ah, the worst one was probably where the entire family (an odd 20 or so) got sick so we all had to take turns going into the bathroom to throw up for the rest of the night. Nobody ate the Turkey after that.

Image credits: TysontheCanadian

#14

One year, I got so drunk the night before that I was severely hungover and sick on Thanksgiving Day, so much so that I had to bow out and not go to my parents’ house where the family dinner was happening and just stay home — something which my mother has given me s**t about every single Thanksgiving dinner since. I’m sure I’ll hear about it again on Thursday. It was 22 years ago Mom, I can hold my booze much better now so give me a goddamn break.

Image credits: VictorBlimpmuscle

#15

I was a young adult. Mid 20s, good job turning into a career, bought a nice NYC apartment; growing up. We'd always had dinner with my mom's little sister. My aunt. We're all there chatting & eating appetizers. My brother is running late but he's *always* late. He lives up in Scarsdale & has more traffic to deal with. It's all normal chit chat until I catch my uncle making a nasty crack about my brother's tardiness to my mother which upsets her. She's easily upset & the uncle knows this. It was a pointless, nasty crack. It served only to upset my mother. **Suddenly, like Proust's Madeleine's, memories of him doing this to my mother for my entire life came flooding back.** I was immediately upset. I waited until he was alone in the kitchen and I casually but quite *seriously* squared up to him. I told that him if he *ever* spoke to my mother like that again and embarrassed her in front of her family that I'd be dead f*****g sure to embarrass him in front of *his* family. If that meant breaking my size 12 foot off in his a*s, I'd be more than happy to oblige him. Moreover, that I wasn't a little kid any more and his days of bullying my mother because nobody was backing her up were f*****g *over.* Then I smiled, patted him on the shoulder and went back out to the appetizers.

He was real, *real* quiet during dinner. Didn't really look up from his plate. We stopped having Thanksgiving together soon after.

#16

I was probably six or seven at the time. My mom’s candles caught the kitchen curtains and some decorative greenery on fire. My sister and my cousins and I were at the “kid’s table” in the kitchen while the adults were in the dining room, so no one of significance noticed anything except me. My mom threatened us with pain of death if we annoyed the adults during dinner, so I quietly walked to the dining room and stood silently for a minute or two, until someone noticed me, and only then did I politely say, “Sorry, but the kitchen’s on fire.” My mom still gives me grief about my prioritizing politeness over common sense....

Image credits: LOTR4eva1

#17

I heard some screaming from outside my apartment. I opened the door and saw this lady running to the dumpster with a turkey still in the pan on fire. She threw it into the dumpster which then caught fire. I called 911 so the fire department could put it out.

Image credits: MeridianOne

#18

Not really a negative incident but we left my one aunt in charge of cooking the turkey.

Fast forward a couple of hours and we're all playing cards when someone mentions "wait, why don't we smell the turkey?" Yep, she completely forgot to turn on the oven and let it sit there for about five hours with no heat.

We had pizza that year.

Image credits: Guiltnazan

#19

Last Thanksgiving was absolutely the worst. My extended family live in another state, so it was just me and my parents. My mom was pissed at my stepdad for various reasons, so she stayed in her room all day. My stepdad and I awkwardly ate in silence while watching the Godfather. Then after dinner he had a heart attack. He died in the hospital a few days later. My mom was crushed that he was gone, and crushed at how she treated him in their last few days together. That was last year. I'm not excited to see what this year brings.

Image credits: Moonalicious

#20

My oldest sister called another sister "a fat b***h" over some stupid fight they’ve been having for years, who then in turn picked up the bowl of green bean casserole and threw it at her. She missed (it wasn’t that far, but I guess she was really angry and that messed up her aim), and it ended up hitting my mother's favorite painting. It wasn’t salvageable.

We all stopped having Thanksgiving with the entire family after that.

Image credits: SexySolemates

#21

Every Thankgiving and Christmas dinner my step grandfather will always bring up his fathers death. Always goes into detail about how he walked into the kitchen to see his fathers body on the floor with his head blown off. Either that or politics.

Image credits: ItsScaryBusey

#22

I'm leaving for basic training the day before Thanksgiving this year. So, my family celebrated on Sunday. My mom and step-dad were supposed to stop by (they live an hour South, and have a cabin an hour north) on their way home. Well, 6pm rolls around and they still haven't shown.

Turns out, my SD decided that he didn't want to go to my uncles and instead wanted to meet us at my grandparents. Which he never told us. So he just drove right on home, denying my mother her last chance to see me before I'm gone until February. I'm honestly still pretty angry.

#23

It's not like a crazy story but my uncle was dating this lady who was super fake and acted like she was faaaamly from the beginning. She kept asking to host a holiday and my mom wanting to be nice said she could have Thanksgiving because that was my mom's holiday to host and she wanted the gf to feel included.

We all go there and the house is filthy. I'm talking big clumps of old dust bunnies right out in the open all over the place, living room, kitchen, hallways, just everywhere. Smells like a garbage can. I have to use the toilet and I go upstairs to where she says it is. Laundry everywhere. But I get to the bathroom and its caked with mold and a mountain of garbage, makeup supplies and just c**p piled on one of the two sinks in there. Toilet was white with black gunk caked into the sides. I held my pee.

She also ordered in food and served it to us on styrofoam plates. Not that I need it on nice plates but lady you BEGGED for a holiday and then didn't do any hosting at all.

We never went to her place again.

#24

This Thanksgiving would be special, we invited somewhere around 25 people (normally it would've been 12) and everyone arrived. Naturally, my mother bought a seriously large turkey, and had it slow cooking all day. It was going to be the highlight of the day and everyone was looking forward to it.

Fast forward, the turkey is out of the oven and is being carved. It looks and smells delicious, the table is set.

Everyone's sitting down at the table, passing around mashed potatoes and talking about whatever. My mom is bringing the turkey from the kitchen into the dining room.

She drops the turkey platter. It shatters, turkey and porcelain shards litter the floor.

Thankfully, most of the turkey was salvaged due to the 5 second rule. Some of us had shards of turkey platter on our plates but it wasnt a big deal.

The turkey WAS as good as it promised to be, and it is sometimes mentioned as the legendary floor bird.

#25

My grandma accidentally poured dish soap on the turkey instead of oil... might have been one of the funniest but most upsetting things I’ve ever seen.

Image credits: Gjlynch22

#26

My grandmother asks my atheist uncle to say grace. Normally he complies as he knows it's just a thing his mom likes her kids to do. But other conservative uncle has been proselytising to him all day and telling him he's worried he's going to hell and taking his non-church going kid with him. So instead of saying grace, he starts with, "Dear heavenly Father, please tell (conservative uncle) to take Jesus, Christmas, Easter, and a cross and shove it up his a*s." Finishes with an amen. Fisticuffs ensue.

#27

My 4-year old sister was sitting at the dinner table next to Grandma. After taking a bite of something she said "my tongue hurts" to which Grandma replied , "well come here and let me kiss it to make it feel better." The moment their lips touched, my sister vomited directly into Grandma's mouth. My dad bursts into laughter and Grandma passes off my sister while she gets up to go clean up in the bathroom. Not more than 5 seconds after she left, a 2 square foot chunk of the ceiling caved in and fell directly onto her chair.


TLDR: my sister puked into my grandmother's mouth to save her life while eating Thanksgiving dinner.

#28

One Thanksgiving my older brother took over cooking duties. He had just graduated from culinary school and was an amazing chef. My aunt and cousins came over to find a juicy Turkey and amazing sides. She likes her turkey burned apparently and made her family not eat the dinner. They all watched us eat. My mom was so pissed they never got invited back to our house for any event for years.

Image credits: HotRod_Al

#29

My brother (10) decides to demonstrate how to properly body slam himself onto a bed to the cousins. Proceeds to hit his head on the windowsill behind the bed and crack his head open. We could see skull. Cousin passes out and the parents only console the kid who passes out. 15 stitches later, we got to eat dinner.

Image credits: Nate2113

#30

My uncle decked my aunt. The police were called. He got arrested.

Image credits: chuckularone

#31

Aunt opened the pressure cooker without releasing the pressure first. Went about as well as you can imagine.

Edit:
I’m not sure what she was cooking but iirc the pressure release was a little rubber nipple-y thing on the top, and there were, like, clips on the outside that kept the lid on? I was around 11 when it happened so I wasn’t spending much time in the kitchen.

Edit 2, electric boogaloo:
She just got burned. No serious/long lasting injuries. Her... I guess he might have still only been her fiancé, drove her to the hospital. She was home the same day and not allowed back in the kitchen for a while.

Image credits: AtlantisLuna

#32

Spent all day cleaning the house for the guests. Made sure the windows were incredibly clean and clear.

Little brother and cousin were chasing eachother outside. Brother comes running through the door which was clearly open because you couldn’t see the gla- uh oh.

He slammed through the plate glass window and got a massive gash on his face and leg. 80 stitches, plastic surgery, and a multiple day hospital stay.

Don’t clean your windows too well.

Image credits: anon

#33

My family had a Thai exchange student during Thanksgiving one year. Thanksgiving is *huge* in our family--35+ people at dinner, tons of food, appetizers out the wazoo, etc--and this was going to be her first and only Thanksgiving, so we really played up how exciting it was. We told her that there was going to be a ton of food, so don't eat a big breakfast! Save room for the amazing Thanksgiving food!

She ended up not eating anything at all on Wednesday or Thursday morning and fainted in my uncle's living room on Thanksgiving day. She hadn't even eaten any appetizers--turned out that she didn't know what that word meant, and didn't know she was allowed to eat the food that was spread out all over the coffee table and bar.

We almost had to take her to the emergency room because her English wasn't quite good enough to explain why she fainted and we thought something was seriously wrong. After all that, she ended up not even liking the food.

Image credits: ostentia

#34

My dad farted in the middle of Thanksgiving prayer. That day shall forever be known as “Fartgate”.

#35

I was only a toddler at the time but thanksgiving is known as the anniversary of the day my mother, father, and uncle outed one another as [illegal substance] addicts! life fell apart fairly rapidly the following year and it has been fun ever since. thanksgiving is now just a small family affair of myself, my brother, and my guardian grandparents

edit: thanks for the concern! my brother and i are doing well, i’m 23 now and this was about 20 years ago. so far as i know, it was EXACTLY like a mexican standoff lmao

for my parents and uncle, they have been in and out of jail, rehab, and everything in between. my mom certainly struggles more than my dad does bc she’s bipolar and has always been more than a little selfish and narcissistic, d***s just made it a hell of a lot worse. but my grandparents are my parents now and they’re wonderful, strong, and inspiring people, so i’m not particularly bothered! happy thanksgiving, always moving onward.

Image credits: puddingtoes

#36

Incident? I hadn’t seen my parents in two years because I lived really far away. They have dinner at my oldest friend’s family’s house every year. Without anyone except my friend knowing, I flew to where he lives and we drove together to his parents house in time for dinner. We drove up to the house and I saw my unsuspecting parents in the window, drinking wine and having a few appetizers with my friend’s unsuspecting parents.


I’m smaller than my friend so I hid behind him when we walked in the door. He went in and was greeted by excited hellos, then I walked out from behind and everyone froze in surprise! I felt very loved.


Edit: It was a good freeze, even with some tears!

#37

My uncle broke one of my grandmother’s antique chairs during an aggressive game of spoons. It was too funny for anyone to be mad.

#38

At my friend’s conservative catholic family’s house for thanksgiving, and his older brother told everyone that my pal had gotten a tattoo. His parents were pissed, and forced him to show them the tattoo. When they saw that it was a dollar sign on his left butt cheek, there were tears.

#39

My alcoholic uncle got ***super*** wasted and spilled red wine all over the antique curtains. The curtains were as white as paper until that day.

#40

Holidays were spent at granddad’s house.

One year we were inside watching some corny a*s BET thanksgiving movie, when we heard a crash and screaming. We all look/go outside to see my two female cousins, who were sisters, fighting on the ground while the neighborhood wannabe d**g dealer was standing over them laughing.

Turns out they were both hooking up with him and they didn’t know it until that day. The biggest tragedy was that the cause of the crash was the grill toppling over..we were smoking a ham on it. I was *pissed*.

Image credits: anon

#41

I was 8 and hanging out with an older family friend, she was about 13. For some reason my very drunk and high aunt thought that this family friend was turning me against my cousin (her daughter) and bursts into the house screaming at her about this. Then said aunt got into a fist fight with another aunt in the front yard.

Yeah, we stopped seeing that side of the family for awhile.

Image credits: yelyah66

#42

My dad spilled his red wine into the freshly carved turkey meat one Thanksgiving!
Now every time he finishes carving it we ask him if he wants to marinate it first, or have it plain.

#43

We had all of the food out in the kitchen at my aunt's house. We all were in the living room and heard a commotion. Merle, my cousin's boyfriend's huge yellow lab, had helped himself to the turkey. He had pulled it from the table onto the floor. It has been almost 14 years: I still give Merle the side-eye when we eat around him!

Edit: Merle crossed the rainbow bridge today. He was 14. We will miss him!

#44

My grandparents had a new oven, and my grandmother had never made a turkey in it before. The turkey drippings somehow caught fire and the kitchen filled up with smoke. We called 911 but by the time the fire department arrived, my dad and grandfather had put out the fire.



So, when the firemen arrived, there was no more fire. They were really nice and understanding. My grandmother was mortified. My drunk aunt tried hitting on all of the firemen even though she had a good 25-30 years on them. My cousin and I just stood in the front yard drinking beers in silence, watching it all play out.



Fortunately, the turkey was fine and dinner proceeded normally once everything settled down.

#45

Well, there was one year where we argued over Muppets, how to defrost satellite dishes, took apart the cabinets and ended the night by flinging carrots at each other.

#46

I felt sick so my dad gave me a pill that contained a very large dose of dextomethorphan. Turns out I don’t react well to it. I proceeded to spend an hour in the bathroom throwing up. My dad didn’t notice because he was too busy dealing with a woman who kept calling his phone and yelling at him in Italian (a language none of us can speak). The rest of the day I was miserable and he was irritated by the repeated phone calls. Still not the worst thanksgiving I’ve had.

#47

My Mom was in the hospital and my Dad was supposed to buy propane for the gas stove. Instead he drank up the gas money and then tried to cook the Turkey & fixins in the coal furnace. Of course he was drunk-cooking and all the food was blackened, still uncooked and covered in coal ash. I still remember the smell of charred Turkey & coal.
We were not religious but one of my brothers mumbled grace before we ate. Something like "Dear God, protect the us from this food." He was chased from the table. I'm sure he paid dearly for that comment but he didn't have to eat. Totally worth it.

#48

Someone will say "pass the dinner rolls" in front of my dad and he will pick it up and throw it at them. Every. Single. Year.

You have to specifically say "please hand me the dinner rolls" or you get a bun thrown at your head.

Image credits: physicslover69

#49

So my uncle didn't want to cook the turkey in the oven, so he just shoved it in the microwave for 2 hours. We called him asking how it came out later, and they were shooting hoops with it outside.

#50

Two I can think of:

My aunt (several alcoholic beverages in at the time) knocked over her very full wine glass into the fresh bowl of nearly 20 lbs of mashed potatoes. She had been the first (and only) one to be served the potatoes. Thanksgiving RUINED.

The year my grandmother passed we were all in the dining room sitting down to dinner. My grandfather said the prayer and as soon as everyone had said ‘amen’ the old grandfather clock in the corner of the room started chiming. Everyone froze. That clock hadn’t worked in years and I’ve never heard it chime since, almost 13 years later.

#51

Not my thanksgiving, but my buddy was telling me about how last year his brother asked for a paternity test mid meal. His brother was 30 at the time.

Edit: They did take the test and it determined that there was a 99.999% chance he was the father.

#52

Thanksgiving at my my aunt and uncle's. My grandparents are there as well. It was in Calgary, AB. We lived in Regina and my grandparents in Kelowna. Pretty close to a full days drive, especially for a vacationing family.

My cousin was kind of spoiled and a very bratty attention whore. We are at the dinner table and she is sitting in her chair kind of dancing and flailing her arms everywhere while singing. My father says to my grandfather I'll bet you all the change in my pocket that glass of milk goes flying. My aunt gets pseudo outraged by this and tells my cousin to keep going. Sure enough, milk goes flying. My grandfather reaches into pocket and hands all of his change to my dad.

My cousin immediately starts crying and runs up stairs, my aunt and grandmother chase after her. We sit there in awkward silence for a minute or two and my grandmother comes downstairs and she is burning red like the fires of hell. Looks at my uncle (her son) and exclaims "Keith, your wife just spit in my face, Alfred, we're leaving." They packed their bags, and up and left home to drive 8 hours back to Kelowna and we did the same thing to Regina.

No one spoke to that side of the family for nearly a decade.

#53

My cousin got drunk and tried to kiss me. I was 15 he was 18 it was gross and I haven't seen him since.

#54

Me, Dad, and older sister got almost 3 bottles of wine down when we realized there was no meat thermometer in the house. Ended up raiding the garage to see what we could find that would work on the turkey. Keep in mind that we were drunk enough that my sister magically had a Scottish accent, I sounded like I was from Fargo and my poor dad had the worst Mexican accent on the planet.

We couldn't get the outdoor thermometer close enough to the turkey to get a good read.

The infrared thermometer gun said the stream was hot but not hot enough.

We decided as a family that the voltmeter said it was ok to eat. I was so drunk I don't even know if it gave off a charge or not but we didn't die!

Edit: we reference this incident every Thanksgiving now. Also, formatting.

#55

As soon as my grandma sat down (the last person) , the cat jumps on the table and has a brain aneurysm and dies in front of 19 people. My little cousins are all screaming, It was terrible :(.

#56

Played paintball with my family. My uncle has a receding hairline which left a portion of his head exposed just above his face mask. I took a shot that nailed that portion directly in its center. It was such a perfect shot that it made a circular cut in his scalp which proceeded to bleed. He was fine, but now he has this faint ring of white scar tissue in the center of his head that you can see in the sheen of the light glinting off his head.

#57

My cousin tried showing us "the boot trick". It was a way to get the cork out of a bottle of wine without a cork screw. You put the bottom of the bottle in your shoe and hit it against the wall and it's suppose to get the cork out. He gathers us all outside to show us how it works. We're all standing in my aunt's driveway to see the trick. Upon hitting the wall the entire bottle shatters and his shoe is soaked in red wine. I guess that's pretty mild. My family gets along pretty well.

#58

My cousin stole a four wheeler from a police dispatcher and left it in our yard. Told us he and a buddy would come back later to get it cos it was out of gas. Mom sent me to Kroger that morning hoping they had pie shells and called me when I was driving back warning me not to speed cos police were all over our road. (We lived on farm a mile long country road. We were the only house on it.)

The police took our statements, retrieved the ATV, and we didn't have chocolate pie because of freaking course Kroger is gonna be out of frozen pie shells at 8AM on Thanksgiving morning, what were you thinking mama.

#59

When the lights flickered off for a second and grandma said, “do you think it’s the Muslims?”.