Going on a first date can be exciting. You’re getting ready wondering how the night is going to go, and whether or not you will hit it off; and while many couples do, others - not so much.
It’s no surprise that bartenders are the people who often get to witness many first dates—both good and bad. So when the redditor ‘gilesvg’ addressed the bartenders in the ‘Ask Reddit’ community, asking them to share stories of first dates going sour, they had plenty. If you’re curious about the fairytales that ended before they even began, too, scroll down to find them on the list below.
#1
Her husband walking in and taking her keys. Telling her not to come home. Then stopping right before he stormed out the door, turning abruptly and yelling “and f**k you mike, what the hell?!”.Image credits: armhat
#2
Not witnessed but heard girl and guy go on blind date. They've been talking on phone before to get to know each other and here comes first Date. Met at a bar. He was there first waiting and she came in. They talk for minute and he says "oh let me get the flowers I got you. It's in the car" he walks out and doesn't return. Felt bad for her. You can at least finish date or drink and then gracefully leave.
Image credits: Wesmom2021
#3
Not a bartender but saw a dude at the theater I used to work at. He was dressed up and had flowers for Valentine’s Day. He sat in the lobby for over an hour and quietly came up to the counter and asked if he could return his tickets.Image credits: IceFireHawk
#4
Girl out with her friends ran into boyfriend who was supposed to be out with his friends...but was on a date. It turned into a whole thing in the parking lot.Image credits: Ok-University-9769
#5
Was a bartender for over a decade, watched a guy leave the bar to use the bathroom, the girl he was with( first date) said to me,“ how many times do I have to bring a date here for you to finally hit on me?” I told her I was engaged and have zero interest , the guy was otw back from the bathroom and overheard her say that, proceeds to lose it on her in front of everyone, which is understandable, and they both scream at each other and leave the bar, that was their first date, and I have not seen anything worse since.Image credits: Lettheexpletivesfly
#6
I was witnessing what seemed like a great first date. So well they started making out at the bar. He had long hair but a 5 head and bald spot. His hat came off in the heated moment and I saw the look on her face.I saw her weeks later and she used the phrase "hat fished" and I'll never forget it. Still feel bad for the dude, he was super nice and paid for everything.
Image credits: letsdotacos
#7
A guy pulled out a tech deck ( finger skateboards ) and was bragging that he was pro, showing tricks on the table. I felt so bad for the girl.
Image credits: BoatsAndHoesQC
#8
I was a bartender at a restaurant. A 13 year old boy came in for his first date with a 13 year old girl. His mom brought them. She planned on getting them seated at the table and then leaving them alone to come eat at the bar herself.The boy would not let her leave. The girl hinted multiple times about the mom leaving. The mom hinted about leaving too. He just ignored them. Finally, the mom says she's leaving to give them some privacy. When she tries to get up, the boy reaches out and grasps her arm and tells her not to leave.
They all sat there awkwardly at the table. One of the servers heard the girl in the bathroom on the phone making fun of how weird he was being about not letting his mom leave then.
Image credits: esoteric_enigma
#9
I've been bartending for 20+ years and have seen A LOT of bad first dates but the one that will always stick out to me was the guy who had his mom vet his date for him. Like he was there at the other end of the bar but she had to sit and meet his mom first. They were the only 3 people in the bar at the time so it was suuuuuper awkward. I pretended to watch hockey but I was so intrigued I was eaves dropping the whole time. The poor girl seamed so lovely that she was too polite to just bail out of the situation so she actually did it! I immediately knew something was f***y when she walked in and got stopped by the mom on her approach to him. The guy seamed so comfortable that it clearly was not the first time it happened. So f*****g weird.
Image credits: dunkan799
#10
I was bouncing one night when there was a first date going on. (Was in earlier than my shift start time). His date went to the bathroom, he went up to the bar, pounded a few shots, then attempted to grope a woman sitting at the bar. His date walked out of the bathroom as I was hauling him out.Image credits: 2_alarm_chili
#11
I actually knew the girl from several years back, only realised after the fact after she'd left.Her and her date seemed to get along ok at the start, but after about half an hour neither of them seemed to be talking. For another half hour they kinda didn't say much, looking at their phones a lot until the guy literally just got up and left. She decided to just take out her laptop and work on some Photoshop project for a while before heading off.
Image credits: Cyanide_Revolver
#12
Witnessed a high school reconnection/date where the girl showed up before him, dressed to the nines and obviously still infatuated with the idea of the football star. He shows up in a wife beater and a ball cap, scruffy/balding and not at all dressed for a date. Now its not a five star restaurant but a decent beach bar. She seems a bit put out but the date stumbles along.I can't help but hover as things go from awkward reintroductions to attempts at conversation. She's trying desperately to convince herself this date is a good idea and he's a great guy and it's obvious he's not.
He's oblivious. Going on and on about how she'd make a great mom because she's a teacher. She replies joking "oh no, I love the kids but I get to give them back at the end of the day" etc and he doubles down. She changes the subject to fishing, he says she can't really enjoy fishing. She repeats herself and shares a story about fishing with her dad. He repeats its a man's hobby and she can't possibly actually find it fun. It just goes on like this and I can see she's getting more and more upset.
At one point, he leans over and says something into her ear. Her face contorts in disgust. She says something like "that's how you think this date is going?"
He goes to the bathroom (still oblivious, this man, gotta hand it to him), she takes her chance and waves me over.
"Two shots of fireball and the check, please."
I shoot over to her, shots in hand. She knocks them back one after the other and I start giggling.
"Can I just say something?" She nods. "This is in no way my business, but you seem really sweet and are way out of his league." She looks at me in shock and says "really?"
"Yes. 100%"
She decided to pay the whole tab and jetted off before he got back. He looked at me and the empty seats and tried to hand me cash, I waved him off saying she had already paid. His utter confusion was so precious. It's still my favorite awkward first date story. So uneventful but just -chefs kiss-.
Image credits: Great_Kitchen_371
#13
Not a bartender, but I order some hot wings with ghost pepper sauce from one.As he watched me eat the first wing, he told me about the last guy who had ordered them. It was a young guy in a suit who was clearly on a first date with the girl he brought along. The guy boldly ordered the ghost pepper wings trying to impress her, took a couple of bites, got up without saying a word, and walked off. After 30min or so, the girl realized he wasn’t coming back and angrily got up to leave… but the bartender had to stop her and reminder her that she still had to pay for the wings.
Image credits: rutsh95
#14
Dude showed up an hour before his date and got hammered. Fell off his bar stool during the date at one point. She left with friends. Hard to watch. He seemed genuinely excited about the date when he got there.Image credits: Something_Etc
#15
I can't say for certain that I am about to describe a first date but it is definitely the most memorable thing that I witnessed during my bartender years.I worked at a bar whose clientele was largely made up of first time drinkers and slightly more experienced drinkers that we tried to train into being great customers. The bar was across the street from a large university campus so fairly typical. I seated the couple who were in my estimation dry as a bone when I took their order of food and two pints. She was getting through her pint much faster than him and when her hand signal for a refill brought me back to the table I could see the guy was maybe 1/4 through his first.
Maybe 5 minutes go by. I have my back to them, skimming the shelves for a bottle when over the din I hear "OooOoaaah-- F****N' GNARLY!". Turning around I see that the guy has his hand to his mouth and is just rounding the corner out of sight towards the washrooms and back at the table there is an unhappy girl and a splash of vomit on the table along with the guy's pint glass being pretty much empty. I was starting to do the math...
As I am taking this in, two dudes come around the corner from the washrooms saying "Some dude missed the bowls and threw up all over the bathroom!". I make my way to the bathroom. We had an outer and inner set of flapping doors that created a little gap of a hallway before the main bathroom. There was barf on the floor in the gap and a streak of it across the inner door. I push past to find the guy inside cleaning himself up. I am down one server and have zero time to deal with this so I push a roll of paper towel into his hands and say that he and his date aren't leaving until he cleans up his business on the floor and doors and back at the table. Yes I can see that you are likely sober, however your puke is all over my bar.
I assume he felt he had to keep up with the girl's pace and tried to casually pound back the 3/4 pint. It did not agree with him. I felt for him but I was also not touching that puke when the chits were piling up.
The girl paid while the guy finished wiping up. Neither of them had a "we are gonna laugh about this later" look on their faces on the way out.
A teachable moment for all involved.
#16
I was bartending at a causal fine dining seafood restaurant on a Monday night. An older man probably in his mid 60s comes to the corner of the bar and asks me for a glass of our “best red.” I give him the wine list and he selects the most expensive glass which he cannot pronounce. He tells me he’s waiting on someone as he sucks down the glass. He pays for it, and continues to wait. About 20 minutes later he orders another glass, and tabs out again. Roughly an hour after he got to the bar, a woman probably 10 years younger than him shows up. The man turns around and loudly says in a disappointed tone “wow, you don’t look anything like your picture!” She sits down despite his comment and orders a glass of house Chardonnay. I checked on them occasionally but neither of them wanted to order food. Every time I tuned into what they were saying I noticed that only he was talking and it was mainly about all his surgeries.When a bar table freed up behind them, the man looked at me and said “we are sitting here and I am having dinner.” He stood up and sat down before she could even answer. When I brought menus over to them he pointed at something random, and she ordered a small pasta dish. He continued to only talk about himself, and showed her pictures of his ex wife throughout the meal. She barely spoke. Towards the end of the meal he looked at her and said “have another glass of wine.” She declined. He replied with “what do you think I’m going to do?! Take advantage of you?” And turned to wink at me. She pushed her plate away, and asked me for the check. Once the man said he was going to pay, she grabbed her purse and left.
Image credits: MotleyCute
#17
Her husband showed up and he was PISSED.Image credits: dirtylaundryrecords
#18
A younge man and woman walked in clearly on a first date. The woman proceeded to sit down on one side of the booth they were sat at. The man proceeded to attempt to sit down next to her, to which she got up and moved to the other side of the table. The man followed her again so he could sit next to her rather than across from her.When their menus were brought over (the food was predominantly Indian food) , the man proceeded to loudly proclaim that he ate indian food all the time and that he could never find a place that served it spicy enough. When the server returned, he proceeded to order for both of them (terribly mispronouncing both dishes I might add). When asked if they wanted Naan, he asked what it was before saying no. While waiting for their food, he continued to brag about eating all different kinds of spicy food and barely let her talk. When their food arrived, he was struggling to eat the food and was visibly sweating. Afterwards, they quickly paid the checks and left. I do not think there was a second date.
#19
A young couple, no more than twenty. He ordered for her (red flag #1). What he ordered for her was a salad (red flag #2, and a nice big "oof" to pair with it). He ordered a standard, meat-and-potatoes entree for himself.Before the food arrived he went to the washroom, and she flagged me down, saying she was leaving and asked if she could pay her half. I told her no - he ordered everything, he could pay for it. She thanked me and bailed.
Took him probably 30 minutes to ask if she had left, and I explained that she had, and why.
And in the end, I got to eat the salad he ordered for her.
Image credits: Hey_Colby
#20
Working at a craft beer bar, this guy asked me out right in front of his absolutely STUNNING date and kept winking at me throughout the night. She left, he did not get my number.Image credits: Sea-Emer
#21
Ex showed up to the guys date, sat down while they were eating and introduced herself and started flirting with him in front of her.The guy had friends there and they all could not believe it you could hear a mutual wtf being said when she walked to their table
The ex was pretty hot and was a Miss World Runner up.
He left with the ex lol.
Image credits: Famous_Track_4356
#22
Wasn’t the bartender, was the guy… started at a nice Italian place, and then we went for drinks and dessert at the latin bar across the street in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. Group of mid late 30s-early 50s women next to us. An argument broke out at the table next to us, a lighter got thrown and exploded under our feet, their table flipped knocking all the dishes and glasses everywhere, shattered. One woman pulled out a box cutter and slashed the other across the forehead.So. Much. Blood. Far too much to come back from.
We couldn’t leave till we paid our check so we just kinda sat there in shock for the next half hour. I ended up walking her home, kissed her goodnight and called it. Violent crime really does ruin the mood…
It ended up on Citizen app as “woman slashed” and we were in the videos background lol. Worst part was we worked together and didn’t want people to know we went on a date so we had to sit the whole day the next day and not say anything about it. The good news was that I took it as a sign from god to stop pretending I was straight and came out a few weeks later and I’m happy to report I haven’t had any violence or crime issues on any date since!
Tl;dr - Fight at table next to us led to a slashing, so much blood, now I’m gay.
#23
They were talking about the angel shot/cocktail and it's implecations. Both knew what it was. She ordered it in front of him. He just got up and left. She ordered a pound of wings and cried while eating them.
Image credits: RemarkableAd5141
#24
Both on their phones and zero conversation the entire time.Image credits: potatopancake1234
#25
Some old guy was describing some "oddities" of his childhood and why his kids and grandkids weren't raised to believe in Santa Clause (because he wasn't either) and this old lady just would not drop the issue and when he gently requested that they change the subject, she started raising her voice calling him spineless, useless, a disappointment of a man, and by that point I'd had enough and just told her she needed to hit the road because she was being an a*****e and scaring off customers. Told the old guy his tab was on me and that I'd arrange for either a cab for him or for his "date". He didn't take me up on it, just left me a few $20 bills and they walked out together before he sheepishly thanked me.Another sad one, a guy showed up to the bar when it was a touch slow, I got him his first beer and noted he was dressed pretty nicely. Being the chatty guy I am, I asked him if there was a special occasion or something. He said he was waiting for a girl to show up for their first date and was pretty excited. Guy hangs out a bit at the bar top for a bit before milling around, comes back and orders some onion rings and another beer. Things got a bit busier so I didn't keep close tabs on him, but then an hour or two went by and I noticed he was still there alone, and he looked a bit confused and saddened, so I asked him how he was doing, he said she hadn't shown up yet. Because I've been there, I got him a drink on the house and asked if he needed anything else. Hour later, the date finally shows up, completely plastered and they walk up together to sit down and she tries ordering some shots. I know most bartenders in most places won't really stop themselves from over-serving someone, but I told her "perhaps you should slow down a bit, here's a glass of water and a free soda". She knocked both over, demanded shots. Guy was clearly embarrassed. They put in a small food order and about 30 minutes later I saw him pouring her into a cab with a to-go container. He came back in and we just chit-chatted when we could for the rest of the night.
Dan, I really hope you found the right woman for ya.
#26
Not bartender, but I was at a local red bird burger shop a week ago. Yum...My wife and I are just chilling with a couple burgers and beer, watching a game. A couple comes in and sits next to us in a booth. Clearly a 1st date, both in late 30s early 40s.
Guy starts going on and on about himself and mid sentence, pushes his date out of the booth to stand, takes his hat off, and at full on attention, salutes the national anthem that just started at the game on the TV. He apologizes to everyone in the bar, (he is loud as s**t), and then tells his date that he's sorry, but as a former marine with buddies who died for the flag, he felt obligated to respect the anthem. Fair enough, I suppose.
The woman ordered a salad. He then critiques her choice, and then orders the exact same salad while letting everyone in the bar, again, know that he has all the allergies and if he eats, smells or even looks in the general direction of a tomato, he is bound for the afterlife.
He consumed his salad at Marine Corp bootcamp speed, and told everyone in the bar, again, that he eats fast because Marines.
He then continues to talk about himself the entire time, all the while the entire bar is now enjoying this s**t show. The woman never said a word other than ordering her food and asking for a box.
Turns out they rode together so the fun didn't stop after dinner. They rode off into the sunset in a mid 90s ram with no exhaust that would have garnered at least a participation ribbon at the County fair.
#27
Dude said that he’s an Alpha like 6x times.#28
I was a bartender at a restaurant, and this teenage kid shows up, 15 or 16 years old, all nicely dressed up, a rose in his hands. Says he reserved a table for two people but wanted to wait at the entrance for his date. He stood there and waited and waited, ordered a coke at some point, and waited a little longer. The longer he waited, the worse he looked. After 45 min it was clear that she was not showing up. He didn't have to pay for his coke. Poor kid.#29
I guess it kinda depends on what you mean by 'bad', they did leave together at the end.Both got trashed over the course of the night, really vibing each other. The girl is working on the last bit of her drink when she vomits into the glass. Idk why, but that is the moment where dudebro decides to grab at her and go in for a kiss. A messy, sloppy drunken kiss full of vomit. Ugh.
#30
Best worst was the one where she went home with me instead.Image credits: russianspambot1917
#31
There’s a bartender out there that probably tells people about the date I was on. Every day I suggested the guy had plans. We finally decide on a Sunday night, after I worked an 8 hour retail shift. I drove out of my way to meet him at the restaurant he chose. When I got there I texted to ask where he was and he said the bar. I had hoped for a table, but whatever. When I walked up he had 3 empty glasses in front of him. As soon as he started talking I could tell he was absolutely s**t faced. He admitted to drinking 2 bottles of wine before leaving his house. Needless to say, I was not impressed. When I asked if he drove, he said he took an Uber because I was going home with him and could drive. I hadn’t taken a break all day so I was starving and ordered an entree and a soda. He called me strange for not getting a drink. Then, when I wasn’t exactly thrilled to talk with a drunk, he kept saying “you’re so weird. Why are you so weird?” He kept trying to flirt with the bartender. She and I kept rolling our eyes. He finally got up to “take a p**s” and I asked for the check, paid, and left. He proceeded to blow up my phone calling me a n**ger lover and a wh*re. Super cool guy lol.
#32
Some douchy guy came in and proceeded to hit on me and was super cocky in how he was amping himself up. Said he was waiting for his date to show up. She was a pretty but shy girl and it looked like the first time they were meeting. He proceeded to act like he was such a hot commodity and she was lucky to be on a date with him. Talked about how rich he was, how hot his exs were and what a good lover in bed he was. Made comments about how i was pretty right in front of her etc. made both of us extremely uncomfortable we both didnt bother to laugh or entertain. Sadly she seemed upset because he was critisizing everything about her. I shot him dirty looks all night and he tipped less than 10%.funny enough he came back a week later with a conventionally pretty girl and all of a sudden acted like he was sophisticated and classy. Acted very mature and she looked like she didnt even want to be there. I noticed him catering to her every need like offering to buy her anything she wanted and buying an expensive bottle of wine. Absolute garbage of a man.
#33
So I’m scrolling looking to see if I recognize myself in a story.I was in a bar with a former Marine on our 3-4 date. He’d taken me shooting earlier in the week. I don’t even know how the conversation started, but it ended with him screaming that I needed to learn to shoot left handed because if I was shot in the right arm, how else would I be able to defend “our family”?!
We barely knew each other and there was no family. It was so painfully awkward paying the bill. I had to ride home with him but never answered a call from him again.
#34
I probably have a much better story for this but this is the only one that springs to mind:Saw a couple come in, one basic blonde Barbie type girl, dressed to the nines and all done up. The guy was a fairly bog standard Pacific Northwest Portland/Seattle dude in a flannel shirt with a beard and man-bun.
They had clearly just met on Tinder or something and them sitting down was obviously their first in person interaction. I could tell the gal was skeptical immediately. But she was a good sport and gave him a shot. Within about 5 minutes of their butts hitting the seats she asked him to let down his man bun.
Well, after some coaxing he let down his hair to reveal one of the most brutal looking bald spots I’ve ever seen. Think Fryer Tuck but choppy and patchy all the way around. Shiny on top and everything.
She proceeds to “gently” laugh at him until he put his hair back up. I stopped paying attention to the their interactions after that cause that told the whole story. I mean I feel for the guy but like, don’t try to pull one over on people either. If you’re bald just embrace it and get on with your life. Hiding it like that just seems silly and leads to extremely embarrassing moments like this.
#35
I was a bartender HOWEVER, this date happened to me and I'm just throwing it here because I can. I was on a first date and things were OK. A little awkward but nothing beyond first date stuff.The woman had ordered a drink but by no means was tossed . I made the horrible mistake of asking about her family and the first thing out of her mouth was "Well I'm pretty sure my dad was an uncaught serial killer."
She was the talker type and proceeded to tell me how he owned a cabin in the woods that was his man cave. Separate from the main house. Nobody was allowed there and nobody ever saw the inside. She said he brought her random jewelry after his trips to the cabin and she had to wear it nomatter if she liked it.
I was horrified. I think she was just trying to be interesting but when she told it she was so nonchalant about it that it freaked me out.
We never talked again after that date.
#36
The one I can distinctly remember involved her using the phrase "my ex" three times in the first five minutes.#37
Was working a bar one weekday night. Woman comes in, orders a drink and sits at the bar. On the opposite end of the bar, a man comes in, orders a drink and takes a seat. An hour passes. They're sat in positions that block their view of the other. After an hour, I hear the man mutter, a f**k this, and put on his coat to leave. Heads for the exit near where the woman is sat. They spot each other, and realise what happened. Personally, if that happened to me I'd think it'd be very funny, but these two seemed annoyed with each other, didn't seem to talk a great deal and parted after about 45 minutes.The biggest question of all really was, why didn't either text their whereabouts to the other hahahaha? Surely they had communicated beforehand.
#38
Couple walked in, couldn’t get a table so they ate at the bar. Told me they were on their first date in random convo. Check back at one point after they had a meal and a third guy was talking with them. Seemed like the two guys were just chatting over her (she was sitting in the middle). I thought they were buddies. Turns out they had all just met too.Original guy went to bathroom or something because when I checked back she ordered their tabs. He comes back, they both leave together. Later in the night I notice that third guy still going strong. In the midst of him deciding if he wanted his tab or another drink he reads a text before answering me and all the sudden just says he will take another beer.
Fast forward to last call and I catch that third guy with the first date gal making out at the end of the bar followed by him asking me if they will tow his car if he leaves it here as he was going to ride with her.
While some may feel bad for the original guy, I say he clearly dodged a bullet. I dunno, don’t recall seeing either of those two first daters again.
#39
Aw man I've seen a few. But there was a woman my age ( late 20's at the time) and an older man (50's maybe)meeting each other for the first time. He spoke but she was zoned out completely. The vibe from the two of them was all over the place. She wasn't even pretending to listen to the guy. After he paid and left, she stayed with me and flirted only to find out I'm gay lolWe hung out a couple times and I found out she was in an open marriage and has her own sex themed podcast. She was cool it's just-- I almost feel that the meetup at my bar was a catfish situation.
#40
Not a bartender, but I went to a pub with my then girlfriend around six or seven years ago. Guy comes in and sits down at a small table for two. Waiter brings two menus and a pitcher of beer with two glasses, even though he's by himself. It's obvious he's waiting for a date. Over the next 60-70 minutes, he kept checking his phone more and more. He ordered his food, he ate probably half of it. Around 90 minutes after arriving, he realized he'd been stood up and just started ordering what looked like jack and cokes. Powered through about seven or eight of them, while just staring blankly at the wall. He paid his tab, got up and stumbled out and walked down the street. Felt really bad for that dude.#41
I'm not a bartender, but I did work tickets at house of blues. This night was a disaster. This younger couple walks in and I scan their ticket and they go down into the venue. About an hour later there is a slam and a rush of people and yelling at the bottom of the steps. It took two of our biggest security officers to carry this girl up the steps. She had fallen asleep drunk at the bar, fallen out of the stool, slamming her head on the concrete in the process. They get her onto the couches and as they carry her up she is just projectile vomiting everywhere. Sitting there on the couch vomiting over the side. She tries to get up and presumably find her date, but she slips in her vomit and lands belly first. Practically swan dives into it. Like a cartoon character she is slipping and sliding in her vomit trying to get up, puking more as she does so. Security finally gets her an ambulance and as they load her up she's just dry heaving onto the side. They carry her away, the show goes on and ends. Finally the date comes up and starts telling me what happened. This had been the first time they went out together. She got so drunk she was getting yelled at for passing out at the bar and causing a scene. The guy said he would not be calling her back for a second date.I have so many stories from this place.
Also, don't sit on the stuff at house of blues. They sprinkle puke powder on it until it is dry and flakes off. Then they flip the cushions and repeat. Nothing gets cleaned. If you smell cinnamon, it's puke. It's always puke.
Image credits: littlerabbit13
#42
I was working at a bar in my town when i was 22, some dude and this hot chick come in and ordered a few drinks, basic stuff but then after a while he got real drunk and intoxicated and starting throwing a hissy fit, The owner which we'll call Tammy had to come out and kick the guy out.Few days later he came back apoligized and found out the lady he was going to date was a local gold digger, as he was complaining about it to his friend that lived next door he told Tammy "Thanks for kicking me out, might have not found out she was a gold digger if i hadn't have been kicked out" Then the man paid for the slight damages he caused to the bar seats and some dishes.
#43
Guy watching sports more than being with the girl.#44
My mom was a waitress and was once waiting tables in the section next to a date that was going down in flames. she said she walked past just in time to see the man storming out and hear the woman yell after him, “and your mother’s a b***h!”.#45
Not a bartender but I remember I was eating at the bartop and there was a date going on beside me. I eat alone a lot and work long hours so I was watching TV. This dude interrupts my me time to ask me what he thought he did for a living pointing out how clean his hands were. "Oh IDK an accountant" there's infinite jobs you can do with spotless hands. Then he went on like a 15 min rant about how he has the best job in the world as a scrub nurse and how every day he gets to see naked women which is extremely creepy knowing he's talking about unconscious women about to be cut open... She noped out of there shortly after and I told him he's delusional thinking that he has the best job.#46
I can tell you mine. I got an unexpected divorce when I was 40, faithful for 20 years. Very first date off of Match decide to meet for drinks. She had a cute face, but very few pics and they didn't seem clear/recent.I show up to the bar and there are 20 coworkers from another department there for a happy hour. I say hey then take a seat at the bar. She comes walking in... barely. She was 5 ft nothing and 300lbs if she was an ounce. Like completely round. Her feet were oozing out of her shoes.
Not fat shaming, but she was not my type and DEFINITELY didn't match her pics. She wasn't curvy, she was just morbidly obese. I have a drink or two with her to be polite, meanwhile my coworkers are staring at me. It was a miserable first date after 20 years.
#47
It was a few years ago. They were hanging out at the bar, she was excited and they were chatting happily. They were classmates who hadn't seen each other while Covid lockdown was happening and clearly over the isolation. She went to the bathroom and he looks at me, sighs and says, "it's rough out there" He was faking all the interest in their whole conversation and left with her to get laid. Ugh. Gave me such 'ick' that he was so good at humoring her despite his entire lack of interest.
#48
Whenever I was their most exciting part of their night. Otherwise they were sitting in silence just listening to the band.#49
I saw an uptight dude with what amounted to almost a hippy chick. Our place had a thing where we would cut off your tie if you wore one in the establishment (we'd give you a free drink). It was just something neat to do to say work time is over. Well, this dude was in a suit and tie, when I came over with the giant scissors, he freaked out. He thought I was joking, and she was laughing her a*s off. He decided to take off his "$150 silk tie, a*****e" instead of getting it cut off. She thought this whole charade was the greatest thing ever.I did my usual spiel offering food and specials, and he was rather indignant, all but mansplaining to me how he's here with a purpose, which just made her burst out laughing again. They ended up getting dinner, and more drinks, she was really into him for a while, or at least looked that way, but as the night went on, her body language definitely changed. I'd bust in with new drinks or whatever when they looked like they needed something. I'd make her giggle, and he had no sense of humor, it was such an odd pairing. Throughout the night, I did see him smile, and he was a handsome dude, but he was tight as a frog's a*s.
After about 90 minutes to 2 hours they had worked up a $140 tab. He decided to close out, I give him the tab, he frowns, I already know I'm not getting a tip. He ends up tipping like $20, so about 15%, so not bad, really. At least he didn't pull out a calculator to figure out the tip (this was long before cell phones, much less smart phones), he seemed like that type of dude., So I did get a tip, albeit a small one.
At least from him, his date left me a $50 bill and her phone number.
Man, do I miss being young and skinny.
#50
Not a bartender but right there. I was at a mom and pop shop. It had a stone fire pizza oven and the pizza station was right behind the racks for the alcohol. Some dude game in with an Italia shirt on and made sure to sit at the two seats that are three feet from the pizza guy (me). This guy was super Italian American and it was clear that was his whole personality, he looked and talked like a side character in the soprano's. They both ordered pizzas and he just sat there and talked about how traditional this pizza was and the art behind it (I had been working there for 2 weeks and had never worked a stone oven before that, also this is a small shop in the middle of Boston, and Cape cod, so not traditional at all, the owner and chef weren't Italian at all). The girl was clearly pretty shy and reserved and didn't say much. I was uncomfortable and I wasn't on the date. Eventually they ate and the guy asked if they should go back to his place. She just very shyly said that she would wait for a ride from her friend. He had already paid he got a bit upset by this but tired to play it off as her wanting to take it slow. As she waited alone I slid her a free garlic bread (I felt bad and I couldn't do much but it was something).#51
Saw a guy trying to explain to his date that since dog natural body temperature is a bit higher than humans, it isn’t bad if dogs are left in the car during 98 degree weather.#52
Gave Brad a close friend, (low alcohol tolerance) a pepperdraft. He was “feeling spicy tonight”. Right after talking to this cute girl, he faceplants right between her legs trying to get out of his chair! ?After that happened his impeccable drunken Scottish wisdom won her over. He somehow got her with “your a pot and I’m a pan, you know why? AM YOUR *GUH* I’M YOUR THE BURGER KINGGGG”
anyways; The two get in bed and he “puked upriver”. ?♂️
Yeah I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Why did I even write this?
Oh yeah now I remember.
HE’S THE BURGER KINGGGGGGG
(They also got married a couple years later).
#53
My own! I bartended a bar in between other things I had going on at the time (25+ yrs ago). A pretty RN from the local hospital would stop in after her shift, she eventually asked me out.On a free weekend (first date) we went to another bar that had a band that night.
She went full Elaine (from Seinfeld) dancing! Like, people got out of her way to let her dance her crazy s**t, which only fed her idea that people thought she was an awesome dancer!
#54
One time my sister visited me at the bar I work at and I served two people on what seemed to be a dating app date. The girl seemed not into it, but was super friendly with me. As it got busier she started talking to a few people at the bar one of which being my sister. She ended up giving my sister her number to give to me before she left.#55
I assume he was a finance bro. He did a line before she came, only noticed because he was rubbing his nose immediately when he came back. Told the girl that he’s on a biz tear and that if she plays her cards right she’ll get a YSL BAG. then proceeded to tell her that he wants to do c*ke of her t*ts. Needless to say she left and I laughed.